Meal Skipper Gifts

'Then that's one child's plate, one special, and one anything-as-long-as-I-don't-have-to-cook-it.'

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

New company policy...next time you miss a meeting I need a note from a doctor or a subpoena from a judge.

'Don't be so dramatic and get into my office!'

Movie Awards. That movie always comes alone and never stays for the after-party. It's an independent film.

'Okay. Time to get up. 1... 2... 3... Go!' - 'Actually, maybe I'll just rest my eyes for a few seconds.' - 'Zzzzz...'

'The early bird can have the worm as far as I'm concerned -- I'd rather sleep in and then go to McDonald's.'

'You know what they say Mum: The early bird catches the worm! So I'm sleeping in...'

'I could text you...I can fax you...I can email you...I could ring you...Lunch?...I can't make it.'

"Of course I mind—they're mine, and I want all of them."

'Here he comes in his jimjams - cutting it fine with out breakfast today!'

'I told my teacher that I won't be returning to school. I'm trying out for a pro basketball team, and her services are no longer required.'

Vicar absent from church due to car boot sale.

"Sure, I'll give you a second opinion. I don't think you should stay home from school either."

'I think you'll find that I'm next. . .'

"I am listening to my body. My body says yuk!"

'It's just one thing after another. The minute they let you out of school, the garden starts to produce.'

'I don't need that exercise stuff -- I cross the pain threshold just getting out of bed in the morning.'

The skipper never wears a hat that fits. He's always been afraid of cap-sizing!

'Would you believe, humble pie?'

'I hear you played football instead of going to school.'

Your Dinner Is In The Potato Skin

'I've already marked you absent, Eddie. Go home.'

"Ya know, no mask or hand sanitizer can spare you from spring fever."

'The Principal suspended me-- School is the only place in the world where you can get time off for bad behavior.'

'Bed rest and no school for a week. Boy, I like this doctor!'

'Yuck! My creamed corn is polluting my mashed potatoes!'

"My wife told me to have a good day, so I went fishing instead of work."

"In my defense it is an exit and the line was really long..."

'I can't come to school today because I have a barking cough. Wanna hear it?'

"Basically, we have two options: #1: Do what I want or #2: Endure an excruciatingly dull presentation..."

'Sorry Professor, you're right: I DID skip a line of the instructions...'

Sailing

"You know what school needs? - A fast forward button!"

Young against old