Lunch Skipper Gifts

'I could text you...I can fax you...I can email you...I could ring you...Lunch?...I can't make it.'

'I'll have the bacon and hay wrap.'

"No thanks, I brought my lunch."

New company policy...next time you miss a meeting I need a note from a doctor or a subpoena from a judge.

'Don't be so dramatic and get into my office!'

'Okay. Time to get up. 1... 2... 3... Go!' - 'Actually, maybe I'll just rest my eyes for a few seconds.' - 'Zzzzz...'

"Did you read this report? The average member of staff takes 19 minutes for lunch!"

Lunch Meet

'The early bird can have the worm as far as I'm concerned -- I'd rather sleep in and then go to McDonald's.'

'You know what they say Mum: The early bird catches the worm! So I'm sleeping in...'

'Here he comes in his jimjams - cutting it fine with out breakfast today!'

Schoolboy with lunch box.

"I get a fresh food kit delivered for lunch. All I need to do is chop, cook, and enjoy!"

'I told my teacher that I won't be returning to school. I'm trying out for a pro basketball team, and her services are no longer required.'

"Sure, I'll give you a second opinion. I don't think you should stay home from school either."

Vicar absent from church due to car boot sale.

'I think you'll find that I'm next. . .'

'It's just one thing after another. The minute they let you out of school, the garden starts to produce.'

'I don't need that exercise stuff -- I cross the pain threshold just getting out of bed in the morning.'

"Wanna swap lunch? My wife packed me birch again..."

'I've already marked you absent, Eddie. Go home.'

"Ya know, no mask or hand sanitizer can spare you from spring fever."

'I hear you played football instead of going to school.'

'The Principal suspended me-- School is the only place in the world where you can get time off for bad behavior.'

'Bed rest and no school for a week. Boy, I like this doctor!'

"In my defense it is an exit and the line was really long..."

"My wife told me to have a good day, so I went fishing instead of work."

'I can't come to school today because I have a barking cough. Wanna hear it?'

"Basically, we have two options: #1: Do what I want or #2: Endure an excruciatingly dull presentation..."

'Sorry Professor, you're right: I DID skip a line of the instructions...'

Sailing

"You know what school needs? - A fast forward button!"

'Then that's one child's plate, one special, and one anything-as-long-as-I-don't-have-to-cook-it.'

Young against old