Lunch Skipper Gifts

'I could text you...I can fax you...I can email you...I could ring you...Lunch?...I can't make it.'

'I'll have the bacon and hay wrap.'

"No thanks, I brought my lunch."

New company policy...next time you miss a meeting I need a note from a doctor or a subpoena from a judge.

'Don't be so dramatic and get into my office!'

'Okay. Time to get up. 1... 2... 3... Go!' - 'Actually, maybe I'll just rest my eyes for a few seconds.' - 'Zzzzz...'

"Did you read this report? The average member of staff takes 19 minutes for lunch!"

Lunch Meet

'The early bird can have the worm as far as I'm concerned -- I'd rather sleep in and then go to McDonald's.'

'You know what they say Mum: The early bird catches the worm! So I'm sleeping in...'

'Here he comes in his jimjams - cutting it fine with out breakfast today!'

"I get a fresh food kit delivered for lunch. All I need to do is chop, cook, and enjoy!"

Schoolboy with lunch box.

'I told my teacher that I won't be returning to school. I'm trying out for a pro basketball team, and her services are no longer required.'

"Sure, I'll give you a second opinion. I don't think you should stay home from school either."

Vicar absent from church due to car boot sale.

'It's just one thing after another. The minute they let you out of school, the garden starts to produce.'

'I think you'll find that I'm next. . .'

'I don't need that exercise stuff -- I cross the pain threshold just getting out of bed in the morning.'

"Wanna swap lunch? My wife packed me birch again..."

"Ya know, no mask or hand sanitizer can spare you from spring fever."

Wow, you're right! Your mom's regurgitated worms are way better than my mom's!

The skipper never wears a hat that fits. He's always been afraid of cap-sizing!

'I hear you played football instead of going to school.'

'I've already marked you absent, Eddie. Go home.'

'Bed rest and no school for a week. Boy, I like this doctor!'

'The Principal suspended me-- School is the only place in the world where you can get time off for bad behavior.'

"My wife told me to have a good day, so I went fishing instead of work."

"In my defense it is an exit and the line was really long..."

'I can't come to school today because I have a barking cough. Wanna hear it?'

"Basically, we have two options: #1: Do what I want or #2: Endure an excruciatingly dull presentation..."

'Sorry Professor, you're right: I DID skip a line of the instructions...'

Sailing

'I'm on a great new diet -- I sleep through breakfast.'

"You know what school needs? - A fast forward button!"