Information Skimmers Gifts

'I gained about two hours a day. I gave up the New York Times.'

Computer games

Why are you waving that big magnet over my hard drive?

"Didn't read the book, missed the movie, but I've been to the theme park."

"Hacking and eavesdropping are my top skills. I guess you could say I'm a good listener."

'While these products may not result in weight loss, they will result in credibility loss.'

"If anyone should ask, I was in my doggy bed from 7 p.m. to midnight. Understand?"

'To be honest, that's all most people read.'

"It's called 'muscle confusion'. First, I put on my workout clothes, then I confuse my muscles by not working out."

'Care of your new hammock. Let's face it, whatever we write here, you're not going to bother.'

'Say, how can I convert this FAT file into a nice and small JPG?'

'We don't know HOW to surf - Can't you part the sea or something?'

"We just want a vacation --- we don't want to learn anything."

The stockholders love our annual report! Scratch and sniff our bottom line and it smells like money!

'So! THis is what you do all day.'

"How our teacher, under my surveillance, spent her summer vacation..."

'I'm supposed to entertain you until sis is ready. Want to read her diary?'

Freedom of information

"I refuse to read the safety manual. Last time I tried, it gave me a severe papercut!"

'I'm taking you off three things - breakfast, lunch, and dinner.'

'He tells his missus he only pops in here for a little piece and quiet!'

Interest rate remain at all time low...

"Let me speak to the CEO's secretary. She's in the know."

'I did a speed reading course yesterday.' - 'It's incredible! I read Moby Dick in 27 minutes this morning!' - 'It's about a whale or something.'

'I think I know how the robbers got in. Someone forgot to lock the doggy door.'

Hadley K., All-Day Sucker.

Slow down!