Information Skimmers Gifts

'I gained about two hours a day. I gave up the New York Times.'

Computer games

Why are you waving that big magnet over my hard drive?

"Didn't read the book, missed the movie, but I've been to the theme park."

"Hacking and eavesdropping are my top skills. I guess you could say I'm a good listener."

'While these products may not result in weight loss, they will result in credibility loss.'

"If anyone should ask, I was in my doggy bed from 7 p.m. to midnight. Understand?"

'To be honest, that's all most people read.'

"It's called 'muscle confusion'. First, I put on my workout clothes, then I confuse my muscles by not working out."

'Care of your new hammock. Let's face it, whatever we write here, you're not going to bother.'

Everyone have enough to eat and drink? We can start the discussion! I'll have a drop of wine. Do you have another cookie? I could do one more cheese puff. Got it. No one's read the book. I googled lost of reviews!

Fully decked out in his new skimmer-Boy Mike was able to skim the pool in just 60 seconds,

'Say, how can I convert this FAT file into a nice and small JPG?'

'We don't know HOW to surf - Can't you part the sea or something?'

"We just want a vacation --- we don't want to learn anything."

The stockholders love our annual report! Scratch and sniff our bottom line and it smells like money!

Meat. No, I have no idea what the heck you just shoved in your mouth, I'm giving away toothpicks. Free samples.

'So! THis is what you do all day.'

"How our teacher, under my surveillance, spent her summer vacation..."

'I'm supposed to entertain you until sis is ready. Want to read her diary?'

Freedom of information

"I refuse to read the safety manual. Last time I tried, it gave me a severe papercut!"

'I'm taking you off three things - breakfast, lunch, and dinner.'

'He tells his missus he only pops in here for a little piece and quiet!'

Interest rate remain at all time low...

"Let me speak to the CEO's secretary. She's in the know."

'I did a speed reading course yesterday.' - 'It's incredible! I read Moby Dick in 27 minutes this morning!' - 'It's about a whale or something.'

Will you help me hide my wretchedly excessive bonus money in my garden? I could. Tree's Trees. But you don't need me to bury money. Not bury it. I want new walls, flowerbeds, trees and water features. A. Hidden in plain sight. Voila!

'I think I know how the robbers got in. Someone forgot to lock the doggy door.'

Hadley K., All-Day Sucker.

Slow down!

It's a scam, Ernie. You are not a prisoner in a cyber war, and you don't have to give your name, rank and credit card number.