Meal Plan Strategist Gifts

"How much would it cost if I don't take classes but just live in a dorm with a meal plan?"

'I sent out for everything.'

"Where do we put Desserts?"

School Cafeteria. It's the start of the school year. The Geometry teacher will come by to verify that we're serving truly square meals. The grammar teacher says the alphabet soup is runny and needs some punctuation added. History teachers keep a record of all the past meals and so will notice any leftovers being served. And the computer lab staff expressed concern about all the cookies so the astronomy teacher suggested switching to candy for dessert. I'll bet she thinks Starburst and Milk

'My diet's good...I'm two weeks ahead of schedule.'

Chez Nous Menu

Soup of the month.

'Like death by salad.'

'But Mom, I like potatoes in their jackets.'

Before/After

How to Deal With Leftover Turkey

"And how is last week's tilapia tonight?"

Horn of Leftovers

"No thanks, I brought my lunch."

'Men order. . . women shop.'

Surprise in the salad bowl

"OK, duty roster for today: Ken is to scout for entrees, Tim for mains and of course, Tina for desserts..."

"Ok, ok, we'll travel back to dinnertime one more time, but then it's my turn to choose."

"I'm very health conscious. I only eat animals that are vegetarians"

'Well, if you're going to order 'left wings' and I'm going to order 'right,' maybe we should just order burgers instead.'

'This is a business lunch, Lowden. So, don't even think about enjoying yourself.'

Shopper in grocery store sees TV dinners marked daytime and prime time.

"I think my mom made me a tofu sandwich."

"I recommend number five if you have only $20 so that you can still leave a tip."

Looking at belt - "One more notch, room for desert."

"That's the door to the gym, past all the snack machines."

"All good things must come to an end...unless I use both of my giant-size super-pots."

"I'm putting you on a high fiber low taste diet."

'I'm saving some for leftovers tomorrow.'

'If you're happy to demand feed we'll get along just fine.'

"This is our high-traffic, reinforced, heavy-duty model."

'Before you order, perhaps you'd like to discuss your food issues with our eating therapist.'

"No dear- I said I was going to buy you a big PROPER TEA!"

"What would you suggest as a dinner strategy?"

"The chef recommends the most expensive dish on the menu."