Budget Meal Strategist Gifts

"I recommend number five if you have only $20 so that you can still leave a tip."

"No thanks, I brought my lunch."

'Men order. . . women shop.'

Credit Crunch Corn Flakes.

'Well, if you're going to order 'left wings' and I'm going to order 'right,' maybe we should just order burgers instead.'

"Well you said you wanted a simple, cheap solution!" (IT Solutions).

"As your attorney, I advise you to assign blame, question motives, attack the media, THEN send your steak back to the kitchen."

When Managers have a Four Seasons pizza.

'Waiter, you seem to have mixed my bill up with somebody who wants to buy this restaurant.'

"It would be better with a protein, but add-ons are so expensive."

"What would you suggest as a dinner strategy?"

"The chef recommends the most expensive dish on the menu."

AS about Today's Specials' - 'Whatever didn't sell yesterday.'

'Please have the bouncer throw me out before the dessert course.'

"It may not be the lowest cal, but it's low enough cal for me."

'We're having leftovers again. Don't worry, I shaved off all the fuzzy parts. I'm going to knit you a sweater.'

"The specials I didn't order sound so much better when you describe them to other people."

"Tell your chef I'd like something for a refined and cultured palate. For under ten bucks."

"If you know what you want, please say so now, otherwise listen carefully, because the menu option have changed."

"We're going to spend £5M to put over the message that our product is so good it sells itself!"

'Budget cuts have forced NASA to find alternative training methods.'

"How much would it cost if I don't take classes but just live in a dorm with a meal plan?"

Free long distance

"Once again the correct answer is 'I don't know.'"

"It was the cheapest way for us to cover the potholes."

A butcher's counter is divided between 'delicious,' 'not bad' and 'edible.'

"I'm sorry, due to budget cuts we had to reduce kitchen staff."

Camper special! PORK 'N' BEANS...50 gallons...only $49.99...Limit: 3 per customer.

"We use the cheapest ingredients and pass the savings on to you."

Pizza By The Slice

"Here's a one-bedroom in the heart of downtown with it's own dedicated parking spot, which can be reached by a convenient twenty-minute cab ride."

Al's Diner. All You Can Eat $4.95. Well, shall we scurry up and down the food chain?

'What would Anthony Bourdain order?'

Thrift: Sew your mouth shut before going to a restaurant.

Please give! Buying organic food doesn't come cheap.