Meal Mediator T-Shirts

'Yuck! My creamed corn is polluting my mashed potatoes!'

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

'Would you believe, humble pie?'

Domestic Goddess.

'May future generations forgive you for eating that sausage...'

Joe's Kaff for Dinners! And Afters Too!

Garlic Free Zone.

'Broccoli is biodegradable, you know, in case you want to throw it out before I eat it.'

'Okay mum, I'll eat it all up. But I doubt I'll grow big and strong on this muck!'

'I love it when you cook - it lets me practice faking it.'

"Of course I mind—they're mine, and I want all of them."

"He's a fussy eater."

"I mean, he does have a point."

'Which are the most popular and least popular items, and which have been on the menu the longest and shortest times?'

'After you with the camouflage.'

'There's something wrong with the slow cooker. I check it every minute but nothing's cooking!'

"I am listening to my body. My body says yuk!"

Tsunami in the cooking pot.

'You'll find loaves in the pantry and fishes in the freezer.'

'Howard's short stay in the hospital was good for both of us. He finally appreciates my cooking.'

"Every time my wife has an accident in the kitchen, I end up eating it. . ."

'Help! -- I ate too much and I can't get up!'

"I have a strong personal commitment to dinner."

'What do you mean, it's good for me and I'll like it? That sounds like a contradiction in terms.'

"And there it is... Coronation chicken"

"It's just that I would be more thankful if we had roast beef."

Your Dinner Is In The Potato Skin

"I gave your ‘compliments to the chef,’ and he’d like you to elaborate."

'This is Muriel's kitchen, where the magic happens -- you know, Voodoo and stuff like that.'

'I'm short of ingredients. What's a good substitute for filet mignon?'

Grandchildren's Menu: Whatever's on your plate and no funny business

Lady with an inflatable dinner date.

Who wants to say grace? Grace! Ames! Would you please show the kids how it's done? Ok. Thank you. That's it? I could have said that! Amen.

"Snowflake, quit eyeballing me!"

'OK that's ten pieces of silver each, except for Judas...you had the Greek salad and the cheese platter, so you owe thirty pieces of silver.'