Family Meal Mediator T-Shirts

'You will too eat it!- It took your father three weeks to catch that rhinoceros!'

A woman standing beside a stove full of steaming pots and pans.

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

Chez Nous Menu

"Who ordered the double chocolate parfait with a cherry on top?"

'I'm worried about him, he eats his vegetables, but not his dessert!'

"Be sure and eat your frozen vegetables."

Garlic Free Zone.

'Thanksgiving's no holiday for turkeys or the women who cook them.'

"His name is James Tom Dave Jon Lee Robert Glenn Joseph Tony Sam Barnes. We didn't want to hurt any relatives' feelings by not naming him after them."

"Can you turn these mashed potatoes into french fries?"

'Okay mum, I'll eat it all up. But I doubt I'll grow big and strong on this muck!'

Making healthy substitutions at mealtime

"When it comes to turkeys, Mom, you sure know your stuff-ing."

A man and baby wearing bibs

"Can you reinvent the classic grilled cheese for me?"

'A hacker broke into our computer and, in an act of human kindness, deleted your mother's recipe for peppers and meat loaf.'

"You're close, but you're not the record. The record for one family in one booth—all from out of state, each ordering a complete breakfast—was set in 1978, with fifteen."

"I'm stuffed. But in a good way."

"You'll hear from my lawyer."

'I'm saving some for leftovers tomorrow.'

"All good things must come to an end...unless I use both of my giant-size super-pots."

"Go ask your mother ... and I'll tell you why she's wrong."

"Mum, why can't we just have a normal Sunday roast like other families?"

"Mother will never be able to rest on her laurels. If they're green, she'll cook them."

"Mom told me to make my vegetables disapear."

"Mom, Eugene picked all the peanuts off the pizza!"

'Your mother spent a lot of time on this meal, so wag your tail even if you don't like it.'

'For the last time, Megan, she won a blue ribbon at the Imperial Valley Fair... I mean, my hands are tied here.'

"I mean, he does have a point."

"So...that's B11, C8, F5, and A3?"

"Forget George, he scarfs down everything in sight. Aunt Rose and Grandma are good for slipping us a slice. Most important, the kids are sloppy. We're bound to find some juicy scraps under their chairs. Stay alert!"

"Tonight, we'll be eating hot dogs with a mustard-ketchup-and-pickle purée, accompanied by peas lightly sprinkled with ketchup. Then fettuccine al dente with a ketchup sauce, followed by applesauce maison with a dollop of you know what!"

"Oh -- just scrape it off."

'Carrot salad, carrot casserole, carrot juice, carrot cake - I want steak!'