Mathematical Physicist Gifts

The Edward Witten String-Theory Quarter

"Ya know, 'DUH' can be a very hurtful word."

"My older self travels back just to remind me to put the cap back on this pen?"

'You may now turn over your paper and begin.' - 'Sir!' - 'Yes?' - 'What is it?' - 'I think Train 'A' and Train 'B' might be going to crash!'

"Together ideas for couples" "Slap a sandwich together" "Put two and two together" "Pull themselves together" "Rub two sticks together" "Try to hold it together" "String a phrase together"

'Dr.Sall Thompson got so excited over the new spring design she took a quantum leap!'

'C'mon get it straight.'

Big Bang Theory.

"E=MC² Energy=Milk·Coffee²"

"Finally, after years of work, irrefutable proof that I'm a nerd."

Albert Einstein

'Einstein, the children are getting too complex for me.'

Typical Brain Versus Einstein's Brain

'According to our statistics department, 78.93 of the statistics they produce are worthless.'

'Never mind inspiration. I need background material on atomic physics.'

'The creative process works best with a relaxed brain, so I'm letting my mind wander to let a solution drift in.'

'But I digress...'

"She's done it! The formula for work-life balance!"

Apples for sale

"Our light bill is astronomical living next to a black hole."

Thinking Gears

Can't Do the Math/Won't Do the Math.

'I pledge allegiance to the atom, and to the periodic table on which it stands, many particles indivisible, with orbitals and electrons for all.'

Smart Ass - Wise Ass

"Oh, stop it. You are not at all obtuse." Complimentary angles make the other angles feel good about themselves.

Math Dreams

'So...you THINK you have what it takes to be a scientist...?'

"I didn't finish the proof but I did write this poem about my struggle."

"If a third grader knows the answer, how much of a problem can it really be?"

"But everyone is befuddled by math."

"Is it that bad?"

'First you forget logarithms. Then you forget how to do long division. Then the multiplication table begins to go...'

He may have a PH.D in elementary particle physics, but he's having an awful lot of trouble with the application form.

'Actually, accounting is an exact science.'

Intelligent people laugh too!