Theoretical Physicist Gifts

'Look, fire is fire - Why try to develop theories about it?'

'Well, so much for that theory!'

Heisenberg Institute: You are here.

"All in all, I'd say it's a pretty convincing explication of chaos theory."

'Is that it? Is that the Grand Unified Theory?'

'But your book proved that gravity is a very weak force.'

Time-space convergence ahead.

Parallel Universe Committee - Meeting Today!

J2 Space-Time Institute: Where? When? We're working on it.

'Look, fire is fire - Why try to develop theories about it?'

"What's come over Heisenberg? He seems to be certain about everything these days."

'Erwin Schrodinger plays 3-box monte...' 'All right - which box is the cat in?'

Einstein

"That's our string theory expert."

"It took forever but that's the last of them. We'll try for the works of George Bernard Shaw next."

'I discovered string theory long before physicists did.'

"Time travel will never happen. You'd have to be able to travel faster than the speed of a tortoise for it to be possible."

"In a career limiting move, Reginald decided to give Albert's latest theory some frank and fearless feedback."

'Look, fire is fire - Why try to develop theories about it?'

Are you aware? The Higgs Boson was thought to exist even through no one had seen it!

Albert Einstein wears a T-shirt that reads 'I'm with stupid'

'You have reached the Heisenberg Institute - Calls will be answered in random order.'

"I love you in theory."

"Are you real?"

"Pi and mash squared please."

Stanley Hibblemeyer suddenly realizes that he is only a theoretical physicist.

Physics Lecture: A Seminar On Time Travel Will Be Held Last Thursday.

"Please welcome Dr. Corbett, who will explain his big bang theory."

"When you said you wanted to be a doctor I thought you meant, maybe a cardiologist. What in the world is an astrophysicist?!"

'I became a theoretical physicist because my poor hand-eye coordination precluded me from doing experiments...'

Isaac Newton, theoretical physicist, ignores falling apple and contemplates one that might have fallen'

"What if we could see five dimensions?"

"But if you've given up on a fifth force, how can you possibly discover a sixth force?"

"What if we could see five dimensions?"

"It's unified and it's a theory but it's not the unified theory we've all been looking for."