Quantum Physicist Gifts

"At the moment I'm torn between the emotionally rewarding but poorly resourced role of a social worker or a more intellectualy rigorous career in quantum physics."

'A few years ago all we needed were some people who could hammer and some people who could paint.'

Heisenberg Institute: You are here.

Quantum Physics Lab: Please Use Wormhole

'Dr Bertam works on a theory of nothing.'

'What are you talking about? ? how can you have half a quantum theory?'

Schrödinger's cat.

"If the universe is expanding, that's all the more reason to get back to the city."

"Well, your quantum computer is broken in every way possible simultaneously."

"Annabelle, you have to admit that you make it easy for me to be misogynistic."

"He won't even know I'm not there. . ."

Quantum Physics

"We quantum physicists put a little extra bounce in our step, and hey, you never know!"

The quantum physicists enjoy a pre-conference stroll.

Professor Biggens instantly regretted putting his head into the particle accelerator...

"Hello! - Have you ever thought about changing your energy supplier..?"

Nano a nano

"Not again!"

'You have reached the Heisenberg Institute - Calls will be answered in random order.'

Rogue Traders from Parallel Universes.

'Is this computer fast, or what? You just drilled a hole in the Space-Time-Continuum! No biggie, though. Just hit 'Control-Escape-Home' and you'll be back to normal!'

'I dated him to get my car repaired, but he turned out to be a quantum mechanic.'

"These caseloads are impossible I've got TWICE the number I should I can't be in two places at once!"

"Even I find it hard to believe some of the things I've been coming up with."

"We hope it's just a bug with our new Quantum mainframe."

Schrodinger's Black Box

"Scientists may need a trillion dollar atom smasher to explore the fundamental questions of the universe, but all you need is one too many."

Raptures

Quantum Breakup

The Style of Elements

'BANG' and a cosmology institute appears.

"An un-observed universe ceases to exist. Yeah right!"

"Just for fun today we could fire some eggs around."

Quantum Psychic

"This may surprise some of your viewers, but I didn't actually want to go into the box."