Materialist Critique Fan Gifts

Empty pockets (four of them).

Desk plaques: 'Money isn't everything' '...Which makes it no less awesome in my opinion.'

"Britain's Got Talent is now in its tenth astonishingly brilliant year!"

"You atheists wouldn't exist without God!"

"You cheap shit! Why can't we have a designer divorce?"

'We can't get rid of her - she has tenure.'

"Well, what would YOU like for Christmas?"

"I'll take new members any way I can get them."

"When we have COVID under control you'll be rewarded for saving us, we won't forget how much we owe you."

The Calmocracy

'And remember: just hold up this little green paper, and they will do whatever you want.'

Obey the Book or be damned!

Tony Blair in the morning and George Bush in the afternoon. Lulu and Stan were having a good day.

"Not only is the grass greener, but check out that Mercedes!"

LIBERAL MEDIA POLLS, 'Do you think President Obama is doing a great job, a wonderful job, or an absolutely terrific job?'

We just assumed everyone knew they couldn't take it with them.

'Okay, the print media convicted you...but trust me, the video media will overturn the verdict.'

'I'm a genetically modified fish aimed at the environmentalist market.'

LARGE FRONT

"Eighty percent polyester."

New Gods

"So you can take it with you!"

"There can be no peace until they renounce their Rabbit God and accept our Duck God."

"How's my head size today."

"Good morning, Mrs. Kiley."

Consumerism junkie.

"Never mind."

"Bloody left-wing cartoonists! They keep drawing me in a one-sided way, but I'm a multifaced personality!"

"This is WYOU the station that broadcasts your thoughts live all day long..."

"To eventually be rich enough to throw away brand new stuff."

"For Gladys it's not the thought that counts, it's the size of the gift."

Ernie

Another Spin?

"We were hoping for something other than 'Whatever' as answers to our survey questions."

'What?! Oh, that's just an expression. Of course you can take it with you!'