Materialist Critique Fan Gifts

Empty pockets (four of them).

Desk plaques: 'Money isn't everything' '...Which makes it no less awesome in my opinion.'

"Britain's Got Talent is now in its tenth astonishingly brilliant year!"

"You atheists wouldn't exist without God!"

"You cheap shit! Why can't we have a designer divorce?"

'We can't get rid of her - she has tenure.'

"I'll take new members any way I can get them."

"Well, what would YOU like for Christmas?"

"When we have COVID under control you'll be rewarded for saving us, we won't forget how much we owe you."

'And remember: just hold up this little green paper, and they will do whatever you want.'

Obey the Book or be damned!

"Not only is the grass greener, but check out that Mercedes!"

LIBERAL MEDIA POLLS, 'Do you think President Obama is doing a great job, a wonderful job, or an absolutely terrific job?'

Tony Blair in the morning and George Bush in the afternoon. Lulu and Stan were having a good day.

We just assumed everyone knew they couldn't take it with them.

'I'm a genetically modified fish aimed at the environmentalist market.'

'Okay, the print media convicted you...but trust me, the video media will overturn the verdict.'

LARGE FRONT

"So you can take it with you!"

New Gods

"There can be no peace until they renounce their Rabbit God and accept our Duck God."

"How's my head size today."

"Good morning, Mrs. Kiley."

Consumerism junkie.

"Never mind."

"To eventually be rich enough to throw away brand new stuff."

Another Spin?

"For Gladys it's not the thought that counts, it's the size of the gift."

Ernie

"Bloody left-wing cartoonists! They keep drawing me in a one-sided way, but I'm a multifaced personality!"

"This is WYOU the station that broadcasts your thoughts live all day long..."

"We were hoping for something other than 'Whatever' as answers to our survey questions."

The Spanish inquisition stoops to an all-time low.

'There are no strangers, Henderson - Only unexploited markets.'