Material Girl Gifts

"I shop to forget what I bought last year."

'He's everthing I'm looking for in a man - a millionaire'.

"That shirt is so last year."

'I can't decide whether I want a man with family values or family valuables.'

"For the best picture not having won anything thereby being eliminated from this category..."

Department of Theatre, Film and Television: Lights...Camera...Unemployment!

"Remind me: Is it the New York Critics Award or the Sundance Audience Prize that always lets us down?"

"Well, what did you expect? They were both missing vital organs."

"It was years ago, for a nature documentary, and they said it was going to be very artistic."

"An actor, you say? Guess you caught the acting-like-a-waiter bug."

"I remember when the death of the hero meant the end of the sequels. Now it marks the beginning of the prequels."

Desk plaques: 'Money isn't everything' '...Which makes it no less awesome in my opinion.'

"Seth, here, is one of the best young creative compromisers in the business."

The ghosts of Christmas yet to come.

Censors 'no' a good thing when they see it.

"Gone with the wind with cats" "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn." "Me neither, who cares—let's take a nap."

'Dad's bedtime story was decent, but the special effects were non-existent.'

Candid Camera store.

Kritik's Korner

"Say hello to my little friend."

The star hunters

"I hurt a lot of people during my last twelve steps."

Now that you have a heart, you really should switch to polyunsaturated oil.

"I want you to know that emotion overrode reason."

"At some point, there's only so high you can raise the volume before you admit you're never gonna understand what British detectives are saying."

'...And now, the film most criticized for eroding traditional family values, the nominees are...'

"I feel a great disturbance in The Force."

Movie Awards. Winner. It's been a big night for Ernie! He won three times at the movie-set caterer awards! On one set he made a healthy, refreshing beverage that received rave reviews from the cast and crew. He won the "best pitcher" award for it. Did they say he won for best costumes? No, his dressings won. His sticky buns won also. For "best leading roll" performance, right? No, for best "cinnamontography"!

"I'm glad they want comedy... the budget is a joke."

Do it! Go into the woods alone!...

'And I love the part when he finds out that it was his brother all along!'

'So no animals were harmed in that movie...but how about the audience?!'

"'Tis but a scratch — in America, I'd still have to go in for work today."

"Not fair! Being really into movies is my thing!"

Dorothy and Toto