Material Girl Gifts

"I shop to forget what I bought last year."

'He's everthing I'm looking for in a man - a millionaire'.

"That shirt is so last year."

'I can't decide whether I want a man with family values or family valuables.'

"For the best picture not having won anything thereby being eliminated from this category..."

Department of Theatre, Film and Television: Lights...Camera...Unemployment!

"Remind me: Is it the New York Critics Award or the Sundance Audience Prize that always lets us down?"

"Well, what did you expect? They were both missing vital organs."

"It was years ago, for a nature documentary, and they said it was going to be very artistic."

"I remember when the death of the hero meant the end of the sequels. Now it marks the beginning of the prequels."

"An actor, you say? Guess you caught the acting-like-a-waiter bug."

Desk plaques: 'Money isn't everything' '...Which makes it no less awesome in my opinion.'

"Seth, here, is one of the best young creative compromisers in the business."

The ghosts of Christmas yet to come.

The star hunters

"Gone with the wind with cats" "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn." "Me neither, who cares—let's take a nap."

"I hurt a lot of people during my last twelve steps."

Candid Camera store.

"Say hello to my little friend."

Censors 'no' a good thing when they see it.

'Dad's bedtime story was decent, but the special effects were non-existent.'

"I feel a great disturbance in The Force."

"At some point, there's only so high you can raise the volume before you admit you're never gonna understand what British detectives are saying."

'...And now, the film most criticized for eroding traditional family values, the nominees are...'

"I want you to know that emotion overrode reason."

"I'm glad they want comedy... the budget is a joke."

'So no animals were harmed in that movie...but how about the audience?!'

"I'm torn, Randy. I don't know what to think." "About what, little buddy?" "Star Trek. The last movie got rave reviews. Critics and audiences loved it. Therefore, I loved it too. But it didn't come anywhere close to earning $1 billion at the box office. And these days, any movie that doesn't earn $1 billion is a complete failure. Therefore, I must hate it. I'm in limbo until the hive mind comes to a consensus." "Except for honey, nothing good ever comes from hives."

"'Tis but a scratch — in America, I'd still have to go in for work today."

"Fangul." Italian sausage.

Dorothy and Toto

"Not fair! Being really into movies is my thing!"

Star Wars Audience

'And I love the part when he finds out that it was his brother all along!'