Materials Gifts

Why The Ball Is Jumping Out

"Looks like we found the issue."

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

City Zoo: Day Care

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

"Tell me about this fear of couches."

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

'Finally! A meeting with one of the bigwigs.'

Project Length As Measured In Dog Years

"For the best picture not having won anything thereby being eliminated from this category..."

Killer Executive Suits.

"I was just going to say, 'Well, I don't make the rules.' But, of course, I do make the rules."

Skipping Horse

"I can't believe how great my life is now: We used to live in an apartment, but now, I have my own garden..."

'Keep me informed of the herds' mood.'

Showbiz Awards

'The proliferation of bird watchers make me more and more self-conscious...'

"This is a great spot to practice mighty roars son..."

A crowd of happy pet owners.

Benedict Cumberbatch

'That's it then - I'll take the slinky high-heeled cocktail number in a 5 and the everyday workshoe in a 7...'

"I said the males were 'evolving' – I didn't say they were 'maturing.'"

Formal SuitsBusiness SuitsBirthday Suits.

'Hmph. College kids.'

"I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal."

"Actually, make that a double cream."

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

'So far, I've taught him to fetch.'

"Think of it as twenty one in human years. I'll take a bourbon and toilet water."

"Frankly, now that he's an obnoxious teenager, I find it more and more difficult to muster the urge to protect him..."

Men find this shampoo irresistible. It's called 'Gee, Your Hair Smells Like A New Car'.

"Why do they do that?"

"I'm sure you'll grow into it, darling."