Animals Gifts

"My New Year's resolution is to lose thirty-eight thousand pounds."

"Perhaps this will refresh your memory."

"Son, your mother is a remarkable woman."

"It's not enough that we succeed. Cats must also fail."

"For God's sake, think! Why is he being so nice to you?"

"Sheer will, I tell you - sheer will."

"Meow."

"You can't plead cute."

"All dogs go to Heaven, because we're not the ones who screwed up."

Lemmings jumping off a cliff and one has a parachute.

Dr. M.J. Pilkington Cosmetic Surgeon

"Just when you're about to lose faith in humanity, you see Shakespeare in the Park."

"I like it after the holidays, when the crowds are gone."

'First of all, calm down - your allowed to be on the couch.'

"The ringing in your ears-I think I can help."

Speech Therapy.

"What if I told you that the thing you've been chasing your whole life... has been a part of you all along."

"I'm going out. Do you need any voles?"

"Remember, as soon as his boss joins the video conference, it's showtime."

"I'm starting to really like the smell of cocaine."

"Hold on -- your boarding pass says 'possum,' but your passport says 'opossum.'"

A Shadow Over Groundhog Day...

"Hold on a second. I have no idea where my ears are."

Why did the chicken cross the road?

"I bark at everything. Can't go wrong that way."

'That was SO worth it!' - Christmas Tree Toppled

"I don't fetch. I have a trust fund."

"Bad news - the unicorns are gay."

"The court is sorry that it raised its voice."

"I really appreciate this."

"Can I borrow those kittens for an hour? I want to freak out the people who had me spayed."

"This human experiment has gone on long enough. Give the hippos control."

"I bit someone once. It tasted like chicken."

'Knee replacement huh? I'm pretty sure Thunder wasn't given that was an option.'

"You keep him busy while I go for help."