Animal Person Gifts

'I'm sorry, ma'am, but you can't collect on your mate's life insurance until he's died nine times.'

"Since when are you into heavy metal?"

"Of course this is GM free grass..."

"More documents to shred? I feel I have more to offer this company than sharp claws."

City Zoo: Day Care

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

"Tell me about this fear of couches."

Project Length As Measured In Dog Years

Skipping Horse

"I can't believe how great my life is now: We used to live in an apartment, but now, I have my own garden..."

'Keep me informed of the herds' mood.'

'The proliferation of bird watchers make me more and more self-conscious...'

"Think of it as twenty one in human years. I'll take a bourbon and toilet water."

"I said the males were 'evolving' – I didn't say they were 'maturing.'"

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

'So far, I've taught him to fetch.'

A crowd of happy pet owners.

"Frankly, now that he's an obnoxious teenager, I find it more and more difficult to muster the urge to protect him..."

"This is a great spot to practice mighty roars son..."

"Actually, make that a double cream."

"I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal."

'Hmph. College kids.'

"Why do they do that?"

'With 73 dog obedience books read between us, I think we must consider defeat.'

12 O'clock was 'I'm a tractor time.'

Mardi Gras

Seagiraffes

"I dunno, I guess I just don't believe in myself anymore."

Life is for the birds.

'Of course I'll still love you when you're old and skinny!'

"Cat box"

"And I'll also take my steak raw thank you."

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

'Ahhh...'

Cat woman shopping for cats.