Cat Person Gifts

'No, no, no. You guys are way off! This isn't even the cat. You guys are on the dog.'

"We're fighting like - well, we're fighting."

"I'm supposed to be loyal, relieve stress, be 'Man's best friend'...I don't need this kind of pressure!"

Why the city's string of cat burglaries remains unsolved.

"The serotonin is deafening."

"Sorry, but I don't see the 'Litter Box Challenge' going viral."

A dog kicks at cat off the couch and then a man kicks the dog off the couch.

"I could have been man's best friend but who needs the pressure."

'Isn't that silly, Fluffy. The cowboy is talking to his horse.'

'It's Thanksgiving! Who would have ordered a triple anchovy pizza for dinner?'

'It's for the neighborhood dogs.'

Day 14 of self-isolation and the cat still hadn't responded to any attempts at conversation.

"We're screwed."

The peace talks collapsed when the dogs insisted the sandbox had to go out in the hall.

Wonders of evolution: Same face, totally different meaning.

"Here, puss, puss, puss!"

Cat with straw under cow.

'I read that lowering the head helps prevent shock in surgical patients.'

'I made you coffee.'

'He's pulling your leg -- he never worked for the 'Terry and the Pirates' comic strip.'

'You'll love this site. It's full of cute human photos with funny captions.'

"I'd like to know who the heck was in charge of the naming!"

'Where did that cat I was chasing go?'

'I know what you're thinking.'

'It's from the cat. I think it's a pound cake.'

"They never give us homework in obedience school. They know we'd just eat it anyway."

"You understand that they call you 'good boy' because they can't remember your name, right? They never forget my name, they care about me..."

"What have I done?"

"I vow to never again bat around someone else's fuzzy mouse."

Beware of the Dog. And don't underestimate the cat.

Fun fact - A black dog crossing your path brings dumb luck.

"Bark bark bark woof yap!" It might be good, but I'm just not in the mood for subtitles.

"First date hairball... awkward."

"Don't you worry about me. I always land on my feet."

"Oh my God! I’m having chest pains!" "Oh my God! I’ll go get help!" "Aww, geez. Now who’s gonna feed me."