Cat Person With A Quirky Edge Gifts

101 uses of a dead cat: brick

"First date hairball... awkward."

Mittens is challenged by the string.

"We have to take that science away from Tommy...he's genetically modified the cat!"

Schrodinger's Black Box

"You understand that they call you 'good boy' because they can't remember your name, right? They never forget my name, they care about me..."

'What was all that swerving at the cat walk?'

Woman escapes with cats.

The Canine's version of cans tied to the back of a wedding car driving off with Cats attached

'Everybody on the internet now knows I'm a dog, so I'm pretending to be a cat.'

"What? Don't yuck my yum!"

'My owner is feeding me way too much organic food.'

"Projectile hairballing."

Feline Stand Up - 'Fetching...how dumb is that? And another thing I don't understand...what's with all that TAIL WAGGING?'

"It's the cat doc, he scares me."

'I can hold a match to his notebook.'

Schrödinger and his cat

'In the alternate universe I've come up with, everything would be exactly the same except cats would bark.'

"Don't you worry about me. I always land on my feet."

"What we have here is a severe case of over-growing."

'We know you have a cat.'

Sober Tooth Tiger

"Me, I think Master and Mistress are incompetent: why else would they need a butler, 3 maids, 2 cooks, 5 gardeners, a pool boy and 2 personal assistants?"

"It slowly dawned on Edwin who exactly had stolen his steroids."

"Do you guys want to go for a walk?"

'No, no, no. You guys are way off! This isn't even the cat. You guys are on the dog.'

Cat and owner sticking out tongues at each other.

Wonders of evolution: Same face, totally different meaning.

"It's Friday the 13th. I feel lucky!"

"Right. Women adore him, men want to be like him, and YOU... well, you're hopeless. So, am I the ONLY one who sees through this guy?"

"I vow to never again bat around someone else's fuzzy mouse."

Who Let the Dawg In?

'He's strictly an indoor cat.'

Ginger cats.

"Okay, you have my attention."