Pets Gifts

"Yes, I came back. I always come back."

"You shouldn't have!"

"It's always 'Sit,' 'Stay,' 'Heel'—never 'Think,' 'Innovate,' 'Be yourself.' "

"Lassie! Get help!!"

"Yes, I'm talking to you. I believe you're the only Sparky in the house."

"I miss you too, honey. Now put the dog on."

"What I like most about being a dog is all the free time."

"Howard, I think the dog wants to go out."

'It's Always 'Good Dog'—Never 'Great Dog.'

"Well, I think you're wonderful."

Quiz for dogs.

"They moved my bowl."

"Can I call you back? I'm with a piece of string."

"If it weren't for you, I would have conquered the world by now."

"Is the homework fresh?"

"The meaning of life is cats."

"I have a couple of other projects I'm excited about."

"'Jeopardy!' is on."

"Please hurry - I don't know how long my cat can keep him subdued."

"I'm a bird dog."

"Is there any chance of getting my testicles back?"

"Until now, I never understood why you got so excited when someone walked past the house."

"No, Rex. Go home."

"I had my own blog for a while, but I decided to go back to just pointless, incessant barking."

"The bidding will start at eleven million dollars."

"Sir, your ducks, they are not in a row."

A dog sits at her typwriter

"Sheer will, I tell you - sheer will."

Dog Food Groups

"Meow."

"All dogs go to Heaven, because we're not the ones who screwed up."

"What the hell did you do with your day before I retired?"

"Isn't it true that you did not love the victim, as you claim, but, in point of fact, feigned affection for the sole purpose of obtaining tuna fish?"

"I was a dog in a previous life, but I came back as a god."

'First of all, calm down - your allowed to be on the couch.'