Pets Pillows

"Yes, I came back. I always come back."

"You shouldn't have!"

"It's always 'Sit,' 'Stay,' 'Heel'—never 'Think,' 'Innovate,' 'Be yourself.' "

"Lassie! Get help!!"

"Yes, I'm talking to you. I believe you're the only Sparky in the house."

"I miss you too, honey. Now put the dog on."

"What I like most about being a dog is all the free time."

"Howard, I think the dog wants to go out."

'It's Always 'Good Dog'—Never 'Great Dog.'

"Well, I think you're wonderful."

Quiz for dogs.

"They moved my bowl."

"Can I call you back? I'm with a piece of string."

"If it weren't for you, I would have conquered the world by now."

"Is the homework fresh?"

"The meaning of life is cats."

"'Jeopardy!' is on."

"I have a couple of other projects I'm excited about."

"Please hurry - I don't know how long my cat can keep him subdued."

"I'm a bird dog."

"Is there any chance of getting my testicles back?"

"No, Rex. Go home."

"I had my own blog for a while, but I decided to go back to just pointless, incessant barking."

"The bidding will start at eleven million dollars."

"Sir, your ducks, they are not in a row."

A dog sits at her typwriter

Dog Food Groups

"Sheer will, I tell you - sheer will."

"Meow."

"All dogs go to Heaven, because we're not the ones who screwed up."

"What the hell did you do with your day before I retired?"

"Isn't it true that you did not love the victim, as you claim, but, in point of fact, feigned affection for the sole purpose of obtaining tuna fish?"

'First of all, calm down - your allowed to be on the couch.'

"I was a dog in a previous life, but I came back as a god."

Feline Facts: Cats are responsible for 67.3% of all adult illiteracy.