Pets Vs. Pets Pillows

Woman setting out a dinner party with name cards labeled cat person, dog person.

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

It is important to give your dog opportunities to play with people.

"Bark or stare? Always a tough decision. Bark? Maybe stare? Whimper? Maybe? Meanwhile, stare."

Playing Fetch.

"Hulk no can be mad at Mr. Puppy Face"

"Did I hear the dog in here?"

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

Police Feline Unit

"Fish needs a bigger bowl."

"I can't believe how great my life is now: We used to live in an apartment, but now, I have my own garden..."

'I'd say he's 10 percent 'pet' and 90 percent 'Lord and Master of All He Surveys'.'

"I'm expert at sniffing out blame."

A crowd of happy pet owners.

'Someone got me because I matched her purse, I've been to a rock concert, a night club and two weddings, Life as a designer dog is great but I'd trade caviar for kibble to get a good night's sleep,'

"Better bring me another cookie. The last one fell in the water."

'...I already have 26 cats, why not 27...'

Indoor Climbing Centre for Cats.

"Pick me!"

"Actually, make that a double cream."

"Think of it as twenty one in human years. I'll take a bourbon and toilet water."

Knock on the door - dog stands up and shouts 'Beat it!'

"He's got no clue how easy he has it compared to his ancestors."

'So far, I've taught him to fetch.'

Randall couldn't wait to see what else the 'Magic Trash Can' could make disappear.

'I know you're really proud, dear. But, don't you think people might think you're bragging?'

'Well, it's your fault for wearing my slippers.'

"Why do they do that?"

'Joe took the day off to go to the ball game. So I'll be sitting in for him until he gets back. Would you like me to fetch you something?'

'With 73 dog obedience books read between us, I think we must consider defeat.'

"Let me just check my email, my texts, my missed calls, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp, my credit score, my horoscope, the results of this latest personality test, the S. & P., the Dow, the news, this article about cute dogs, and the weather, and then we can go."

"He was overly socialized as a puppy."

'It's a deal, lets sniff bottoms!'

"I call it 'Bad Dog.'"

'I see! And, just how much will it cost if she is in season?'