Match Fixer Pillows

'Agreed then? Your boy takes a dive in the fifth...'

Airline Debts: Layoffs to help us stay afloat.

Christmas tree with wadded up lights.

'I am willing to concede that the company has been underperforming of late...'

'Come on, you can make it work! You're supposed to be Lovebirds after all...'

'Before you come with me, tell me...does this robe look a little rumpled to you? I don't think the dry cleaners got the creases out, do you?'

'Well, the good news is; You won't need to tax and insure it.'

"I don't know who you are!"

Waiting for Pants

"Whoa. There's a huge crack down here." "Tell me about it."

'It looks suspiciously like Killer Hart is taking a dive!'

"Fido's determined to find that bone."

His verbal skills are developing, but his motor skills are very advanced. (Originally published on 2009-02-01).

Delivering red ink to the Berueu of Management and Budget.

"We probably need to rethink our revenue strategy for the practice."

A man sews broken hearts back together.

"Post-holiday dieting will be much easier this year. Our disposable cash flow will be diverted."

'Of course we can fix your sweater but we'll have to contact the sheep to match the wool!'

"It got so bad that had to bring Jones in to turn things around."

'Let me tell you why I'm here...'

"Well there it is in black and white gentlemen, we're in the red."

'My wife doesn't understand me.'

Son? We need to talk about inappropriate life choices. I was joking. I'm not going to be an investment banker. Great! I'd hate to see you waste your talents. There are plenty of other jobs. Like the fixer who disappears famous athletes' awkward e-mails. You'll always be employed.

It's too hard to clean my closet. Take out everything. Throw them into "keep", "donate" or "toss" boxes. Ok. Done!

"Get back here and clean out your desk."

"I'd like to get something for my wife. Do you have any olive branches?"

"Our marriage has been experiencing a spot of turbulence lately."

"You can't leave! I haven't had dinner yet!"

Man looks for wife help from machine.

"It's time to break up the company!!"

'How should I know why my daughter has not spoken to me in over a month, stupid!'

"We will indeed be facing numerous enraged customers."

Your Uncle Mort and Sadie are back from Canada. Are they still getting married? Yeah, but they're slowing things down. They're going to talk to someone about their problems. A counselor is always a good idea. They couldn't exactly afford a professional. He doesn't put the bathroom seat down.

"Nope - ya know what they say - an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure..."

"Do you want to watch another episode or heal our relationship?"