Fashion Fixers Pillows

'I don't need to go on a diet. All I need is a bigger pair of pants.'

Airline Debts: Layoffs to help us stay afloat.

Christmas tree with wadded up lights.

'Due to the poor response to the roof repair fund we cannot afford to lift the rafters when rejoicing in song.'

'I am willing to concede that the company has been underperforming of late...'

Waiting for Pants

"Are you sure there wasn't a floor model?"

"Whoa. There's a huge crack down here." "Tell me about it."

'Are you sure you brought the right flat pack?'

Delivering red ink to the Berueu of Management and Budget.

George was a bit intimidated by his IKEA self-assembly wardrobe.

'I knew there was part of the pattern missing!'

"She does this when she's tired."

"We probably need to rethink our revenue strategy for the practice."

Chair - Ready for Self Assembly.

MD - Cosmetic Surgery and Investment Portfolio Makeovers.

'Yes, you were abandoned. But then I adopted you. Why are you still taking it out on my couch?'

DIY.

Super glue . . .

'Of course we can fix your sweater but we'll have to contact the sheep to match the wool!'

"It got so bad that had to bring Jones in to turn things around."

"Post-holiday dieting will be much easier this year. Our disposable cash flow will be diverted."

'They had three puppies and four kids before me: It's almost impossible to find a piece of furniture that hasn't been chewed on...'

'Let me tell you why I'm here...'

"Well there it is in black and white gentlemen, we're in the red."

Irritable dowel syndrome

Jude completely misunderstands his doctor's request for a stool sample.

"Get back here and clean out your desk."

'Are you ready for me to read the instructions yet?'

Nobody new the identity of the mad bandager

"For financial reasons we're selling this brick and mortar home and becoming an online family."