Fashion Fixer Pillows

Waiting for Pants

'Maybe you could get dressed faster if you lost that speed bump around your waist.'

Tailor Shop. Repairs. Alterations. You're a tailor who fixes torn pants?! When we met in the bar you said you were a genetic engineer! No, I said I do "jean splicing"!

It's too hard to clean my closet. Take out everything. Throw them into "keep", "donate" or "toss" boxes. Ok. Done!

"Darling - I can't seem to find the invisible menders..."

'Of course we can fix your sweater but we'll have to contact the sheep to match the wool!'

Patch tattoo

Man having trousers mended

"Now they're not too long."

Airline Debts: Layoffs to help us stay afloat.

Christmas tree with wadded up lights.

'Due to the poor response to the roof repair fund we cannot afford to lift the rafters when rejoicing in song.'

'I am willing to concede that the company has been underperforming of late...'

'Before you come with me, tell me...does this robe look a little rumpled to you? I don't think the dry cleaners got the creases out, do you?'

"Whoa. There's a huge crack down here." "Tell me about it."

"Are you sure there wasn't a floor model?"

'Are you sure you brought the right flat pack?'

Delivering red ink to the Berueu of Management and Budget.

George was a bit intimidated by his IKEA self-assembly wardrobe.

'I knew there was part of the pattern missing!'

"She does this when she's tired."

"We probably need to rethink our revenue strategy for the practice."

Chair - Ready for Self Assembly.

DIY.

MD - Cosmetic Surgery and Investment Portfolio Makeovers.

'Yes, you were abandoned. But then I adopted you. Why are you still taking it out on my couch?'

"Post-holiday dieting will be much easier this year. Our disposable cash flow will be diverted."

"I can't find the instructions."

Super glue . . .

"It got so bad that had to bring Jones in to turn things around."

'They had three puppies and four kids before me: It's almost impossible to find a piece of furniture that hasn't been chewed on...'

'Let me tell you why I'm here...'

"Well there it is in black and white gentlemen, we're in the red."

Irritable dowel syndrome

"Get back here and clean out your desk."