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Nobody Fails Labrador Masterchef

Too Many Lawyers Spoil the Broth

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

'I hope you like this, dear. I got the recipe from Gordon Ramses, latest cookery hieroglyphics.'

"I've combined a laxative and alphabet soup. I call it 'Letter Rip!'"

TV chef sets the TV on fire.

"Then add one extra large egg..."

'Wait, wait, before you mix them, you have to say, 'Pow!'.'

Emeril John Lagassé III caricature

Cooking without Jamie Oliver

"Look at the size of this gas bill - you'll have to get rid of some of those celebrity chefs!!"

"... and God bless my mom and her courage to call this food."

'Just call me Delia...'

'By the time I'd watched Delia and Ainsley and Jamie Oliver and Floyd...I'd spoiled the broth.'

'Madam, we do not discuss Julia Child at Maison Henri.'

Mary Berry

"@#!!!%$ the critics!! Give me Bobby $#@!! Flay!!"

Schoolgirl in canteen: 'The food's great but I wish they'd stop calling it 'pukka tukka'.'

'There's a Mr. Oliver to see you. Says he can save the world.'

"Today we learned how to put cherries on cupcakes!"

"When did they add this channel?!"

'Hello - is that Jamie Oliver?'

'Now his mother's gone, she's nowhere to slink off to and watch tripe on t'telly!

"The George Foreman! I've got just the thing."

Chefs

Michael Symon

'Ready, steady, Operate'

"I should have never let you watch those cooking shows on TV!"

"Your husband tells me you're a wonderful cook!"

Capturing a Cook

Studio Manager: 'Righto, you're on Chef. Break a egg!'

"He's been watching all those cookery programmes."

"Apart from writing your new cookery book what else have you been up to?"

'Celebrity chef' 'Celery chef'

"Which cooking competition show did you get your training from?"