Cooking Show Aficionado T-Shirts

"When did they add this channel?!"

Domestic Goddess.

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

"The recipe said to let the chicken rest after it comes out of the oven!"

'As a surprise I thought I'd give the new cookbook a try tonight.'

"Nice try, Mom, but I'm going to go with a caterer."

'The following programme contains scones of a sexual nature.'

"I grabbed it away from Larry and seasoned it properly just in time. It's a rescue meatloaf."

"Then add one extra large egg..."

A Creature WAS Stirring

'We just invented cooking yesterday, and already she's serving leftovers!'

'A hacker broke into our computer and, in an act of human kindness, deleted your mother's recipe for peppers and meat loaf.'

The First Steak.

"Now make sure your heat is high enough to sear your putrid meat quickly."

Beauty and the Baste

Woman watching cookery show on TV while cooking a microwave meal.

'How do you like the souffle?' - 'Great, will you give me the blueprint?'

"Look at the size of this gas bill - you'll have to get rid of some of those celebrity chefs!!"

'Sorry, viewers, I was going to show you one I made earlier but it's been scoffed by the second assistant sound engineer.'

'Can I start you off with a nice soup bone?'

'Just like mother used to make.'

Here's one I made earlier.

Swiss Kitchen

My Cauldron Rules

"...and what has my culinary genius conjured up to delight my taste buds tonight?"

'I tried, Larry, but I guess that whole 'watched pot never boils' stuff was just a lie! Larry?'

"And there it is... Coronation chicken"

'No wonder somebody caught it, it's legs are tied.'

'For this dish we're going to need two bottles of good quality red wine. And that's before we even start cooking.'

'Ready, steady, Operate'

I'll say one thing for that chef on TV...he really makes deboning a chicken look easy.