Master Of Witty Comebacks Pillows

'Answer me one question, would you?' 'O.K.' 'Do you still love me?' 'That's two!'

"Adopted? It's cute how you think we would've picked you."

"I'm afraid we have very little in the salary range you're accustomed to."

"I don't like a school year that begins with 'while you were out'."

"Where are all the hecklers? I have some great rejoinders."

"You have a lot of unresolved anger and it's settled in your hat."

"Roots, figs, water, mammoth meat, and... um... Ugh! Me never remember shopping list!"

'I would go to the end of the world for you.' - 'Yes, but would you stay there?'

'You have no idea how difficult life can be when one is totally irresistible to men, Jane.'

"Can you believe they're watching the same back-to-school ad?"

'Dad, can you just drop me off here?'

'Some boys think I'm pretty. Some think I'm ugly. What do you think?'

An old man with bow legs

'True but only in practice, not in principle.'

'Mr. Churchill, you are drunk !' 'Yes Madam and you are ugly but tomorrow I shall be sober.'

Inattentive Boy

"I'm keeping you back after school!"

'My backhanded compliments to the chef.'

'You're cheating on me? How can you be so heartless?!'

"If you're a self made man...why did you made yourself so short?"

King vs King- who's the clown?

"Yep, I was the little runt you used to tease all the time! Guess what, I had a late growth spurt..."

"I take the fun out of everything. What do you do?"

'You are charged with habitual drunkeness, What's your excuse'

'And then the jury decided that I was ready for a long term relationship with the penal code system.'

'Where have you been all my life?'

"It's only the first day of school, but I've already fully adapted to the silence."

"Why do I want this job? I need your insurance coverage and quick!"

"Oh come off it, Aston! The only reason you decided to detest Chris Evert is because no one else does."

"Yes, I know you don't want to go back to school, but you have to...you're a teachers!"

'Now, there goes a professional drinker.'

Cabby and facetious fare