Master Of Witty Comebacks T-Shirts

'Answer me one question, would you?' 'O.K.' 'Do you still love me?' 'That's two!'

"Adopted? It's cute how you think we would've picked you."

History of Cartooning.

"I'm afraid we have very little in the salary range you're accustomed to."

"I don't like a school year that begins with 'while you were out'."

"Where are all the hecklers? I have some great rejoinders."

"You have a lot of unresolved anger and it's settled in your hat."

Is this your father, little guy? No, lady, my father is a libel attorney, and you'll be hearing from him.

"Roots, figs, water, mammoth meat, and... um... Ugh! Me never remember shopping list!"

"Can you believe they're watching the same back-to-school ad?"

'I would go to the end of the world for you.' - 'Yes, but would you stay there?'

'You have no idea how difficult life can be when one is totally irresistible to men, Jane.'

'Dad, can you just drop me off here?'

'Some boys think I'm pretty. Some think I'm ugly. What do you think?'

'True but only in practice, not in principle.'

An old man with bow legs

'Mr. Churchill, you are drunk !' 'Yes Madam and you are ugly but tomorrow I shall be sober.'

How teachers decide what school supplies kids need to buy.

Inattentive Boy

'My backhanded compliments to the chef.'

"I'm keeping you back after school!"

'...and finally I'd just like to thank my plastic surgeon for giving me these puppies.'

King vs King- who's the clown?

"Yep, I was the little runt you used to tease all the time! Guess what, I had a late growth spurt..."

'You're cheating on me? How can you be so heartless?!'

"If you're a self made man...why did you made yourself so short?"

"I take the fun out of everything. What do you do?"

'You are charged with habitual drunkeness, What's your excuse'

"Why do I want this job? I need your insurance coverage and quick!"

'Where have you been all my life?'

'And then the jury decided that I was ready for a long term relationship with the penal code system.'

"It's only the first day of school, but I've already fully adapted to the silence."

"Oh come off it, Aston! The only reason you decided to detest Chris Evert is because no one else does."

"Yes, I know you don't want to go back to school, but you have to...you're a teachers!"

Cabby and facetious fare