Master Of The Markets Gifts

"Oh that, that's our dealing room."

Robot Parts $5

The president's men

'Had I known Hell was going to be exactly like work, I probably wouldn''t have spent as much time there.'

'Call the boss! We're in trouble!'

'For Harland, the only game in town is the bulls versus the bears...'

"That's unanimous then - we don't know what to do."

Desk trays - 'In', 'Out', and 'It depends'.

Woman at a desk with in out boxes marked Market Up Market Down.

"Do you swear to calm the jittery financial markets, all the jittery financial markets and nothing but the jittery financial markets, so help you God?"

...I wonder who started the rumour of your resignation?

'Dow goes up, Dow goes 'round, but we'll keep rockin' 'til the Fed cracks down . . . '

"A 'pregnant pause' is effective only if you've already said something."

Cheer up, you'll get your day.

"So our agreed strategy is to dominate the market and it creeps profits by 670%. Anybody any idea how to do it?"

'Someone round here has to make the important decisions.'

'Mr Sims, in honor of your portfolio, we're flying our flag at half-mast.'

'No doubt about it, John, zero does represent a critical support level for this stock.'

A statue of a businessman in a park with an inscription that reads "Outperformed the market".

41 Rounds of Layoffs Survived

Football is like investing. It's good to have a diversified portfolio. A team should use a balanced mix of run plays and pass plays. And sometimes the quarterback is smart to accept a sack rather than trying something too risky. Right. Take the small loss and move on. A defensive player getting a finger on a pass can have a big impact. In both football and investing a tip can be a real game changer. But some things are different. Football has nothing like a T-Bill. There are no guarant

'What did the fund manager say to the investment advisor?'

'I've been a broker for almost three days and I've never seen the market act like this.'

'Unfortunately when our last window of opportunity opened up, we mistakenly crawled out of it rather than into it.'

Stock market ups and downs.

'As a new investor, you'll be interested to know that the value of stocks are determined by the collective wisdom of all buyers and sellers.'

The Return of Guarded Optimism

Office of Strategic Scenarios: 'Best case...Worst case.'

'Every time I want to buy a company, you tell me I own it already.'

"If you believe, clap your hands. Don't let our IPO die!"

"Markets rose slightly today. No one knows why."

Higher Instincts/Middling Instincts/Baser Instincts.

Growth from traditional banks

'That was one of my all-time great rumors.'

"You've suffered a loss and you need time to grieve, also, tomorrow the market may turn around."