Master Of The Market Gifts

Successful business man

Robot Parts $5

The president's men

'Had I known Hell was going to be exactly like work, I probably wouldn''t have spent as much time there.'

'Today the stock market was moribund, as growth equities sputtered and bonds dipped due to the inverted yield curve. I'd translate that into layman's terms...but they don't pay me enough.'

"I'm not telling you to stay. I'm talking to the stock market."

'Call the boss! We're in trouble!'

Business is off the chart.

"Ed and Helen's portfolio rose 3 point today on Dave's purchase of 100 shares..."

'For Harland, the only game in town is the bulls versus the bears...'

"That's unanimous then - we don't know what to do."

"Genius is 1% inspiration, 99% budget allocation."

Woman at a desk with in out boxes marked Market Up Market Down.

"Do you swear to calm the jittery financial markets, all the jittery financial markets and nothing but the jittery financial markets, so help you God?"

...I wonder who started the rumour of your resignation?

Falling stocks appear to be rising when man stands on his head.

Cheer up, you'll get your day.

"A 'pregnant pause' is effective only if you've already said something."

"These are magic beans, my boy. Their value comes from growth and scale, not revenue."

"So our agreed strategy is to dominate the market and it creeps profits by 670%. Anybody any idea how to do it?"

'Mr Sims, in honor of your portfolio, we're flying our flag at half-mast.'

'Tropical fruit, imported cheese, coconuts...I'm not really into that 'eat locally' stuff.'

'No doubt about it, John, zero does represent a critical support level for this stock.'

A statue of a businessman in a park with an inscription that reads "Outperformed the market".

'I think it's time to reboot your fiscal compass.'

"I've accepted that I'm getting richer."

41 Rounds of Layoffs Survived

"The key to success is knowing what people want. Too bad it isn't knowing what people don't want."

'What did the fund manager say to the investment advisor?'

'I've been a broker for almost three days and I've never seen the market act like this.'

'Unfortunately when our last window of opportunity opened up, we mistakenly crawled out of it rather than into it.'

In case of stock market crash break glass.

'Of course, for me, Christmas has a deeply felt religious significance! The stock exchange is my church...!

'I wonder if I can increase its range?'

Didn't know as much about the market as I thought I did.