Master Of Mulch T-Shirts

Keen gardener.

"It's almost 5 o'clock! Where the hell is my vodka app?!"

Garden Shop - Top Soil, Bottom Soil (manure)

"He loves his leaf blower."

'Ok..Ok...I'm putting the lawnmower back in the shed!'

"Grapes, Rye, Malt... I got into this through my vegetarianism."

'I lost a fight with a mud puddle.'

"OK, duty roster for today: Ken is to scout for entrees, Tim for mains and of course, Tina for desserts..."

"Mulch madness"

Beginning Yarder.

'So much for your theory that mixing two 50-point-rated wines equals one rated 100.'

'Told you to get your mower fixed.'

Blue Blazer Cocktail.

Corpse Reviver Number 2

"We're going to need a bigger rake."

"Sorry, but no. I can't lend you a student to help clean up your yard."

'...To be fair, the chemistry teacher didn't ask your Son to drink his practical exam.'

'I badly need to speak to my husband - can you get me a job as a barmaid?'

"It needs a dash of gravel, I reckon."

We built your beds, planted, mulched and set up your watering system. Nice work! Here's your check. Thanks! I love gardening. Me, too!

"This may be the beer, Zoloft, Rogaine, Cialis and Avapro talking ... but I feel weird."

"I don't think he can touch your in-the-dirt ball."

'How damp is this place? Let me put it this way: I use mold and mildew remover as a skin care product.'

"Charles! Enough with the mulch!"

'Listen,kid, you're going to have to lower your standards if you ever want to throw the sleazeball.'

"Looks like the bar has been raised."

Potter

'You can always recognise a true gardener - out there before the weather actually gets nice enough for venturing into the garden.'

"What amazes me is that dad actually buys fertilizer!"

'Get your mitts off my leaves!!'

Gardener's Calendar: January - Look for some out-of-the-way corner and start your compost heap.

"A wet winter. but we're making the best of it."

"Parting the church lawn and the Red Sea are not exactly the same ."

'For heaven's sale, man, we're drinkies, not foodies!'

Man using a trampoline to reach and prune a tree.