Master Of Mulch Gifts

Keen gardener.

"It's almost 5 o'clock! Where the hell is my vodka app?!"

Garden Shop - Top Soil, Bottom Soil (manure)

"He loves his leaf blower."

'Ok..Ok...I'm putting the lawnmower back in the shed!'

"Grapes, Rye, Malt... I got into this through my vegetarianism."

"OK, duty roster for today: Ken is to scout for entrees, Tim for mains and of course, Tina for desserts..."

"Mulch madness"

'I lost a fight with a mud puddle.'

'So much for your theory that mixing two 50-point-rated wines equals one rated 100.'

Beginning Yarder.

'Told you to get your mower fixed.'

Corpse Reviver Number 2

Blue Blazer Cocktail.

"We're going to need a bigger rake."

"Sorry, but no. I can't lend you a student to help clean up your yard."

"It needs a dash of gravel, I reckon."

'I badly need to speak to my husband - can you get me a job as a barmaid?'

"This may be the beer, Zoloft, Rogaine, Cialis and Avapro talking ... but I feel weird."

'...To be fair, the chemistry teacher didn't ask your Son to drink his practical exam.'

"I don't think he can touch your in-the-dirt ball."

'How damp is this place? Let me put it this way: I use mold and mildew remover as a skin care product.'

'Listen,kid, you're going to have to lower your standards if you ever want to throw the sleazeball.'

"Charles! Enough with the mulch!"

"Looks like the bar has been raised."

Potter

Gardener's Calendar: January - Look for some out-of-the-way corner and start your compost heap.

"Parting the church lawn and the Red Sea are not exactly the same ."

"What amazes me is that dad actually buys fertilizer!"

'For heaven's sale, man, we're drinkies, not foodies!'

"A wet winter. but we're making the best of it."

'You can always recognise a true gardener - out there before the weather actually gets nice enough for venturing into the garden.'

'Get your mitts off my leaves!!'

Man using a trampoline to reach and prune a tree.

"No! Don't jump in that muddy puddle! You haven't got your best clothes on!"