Master Of Lawn Envy Gifts

"His grass really is greener!"

'Behold. Ed and Jim have finally reached nirvana.'

"First time pruning?"

"You've just got to have the biggest and the best, have'nt you?!"

I want to rip out our lawn and plant a wild meadow. And I want lost of well-mown grass. What do you recommend? Nursery open. Just a sec. I'll check with my dad. No way! Tree's Tree Nursery. I'm not suggesting a marriage counselor!

Mulching Vacuum Cleaner

'Congratulations! Our yard's been declared a national wilderness area!'

A man repeatedly pulls the start cord on his lawn mower until it falls apart.

"Can you cut the grass but leave the daisies?"

A sign on the front lawn of a house reads "Keep off the chemicals".

Couple who have confused their baby's pram and the lawn mower.

"Mulch madness"

'Hey, are you like me? Do you hate mowing around trees? ell, then THIS is the machine for you!'

"The gods seem angrier than usual today."

Three different categories of lawnmower.

'I'm finding the greens a bit slow.'

"Al emerged from his man cave and saw crabgrass. That means 6 months of obsessing about crabgrass."

'George! This way quick!'

'I can't get my husband to water the lawn.'

The Scottish Lawn

"Basically, I'm looking for a beer can holder with a mower built around it."

Beware of the Lawn

Dispose of unproductive fruit trees.

'This veldt makes me worry about the condition of our yard back home.'

'If I've calculated correctly, I have two more birthdays before I never have to mow the lawn again.'

'I'm making one of the craters into a birdbath.'

Mowing the Bottle-Garden

'Fred's opinion of crab grass is if you can't beat it, join it.'

'Despite her numerous advanced degrees, Dr.Bessie couldn't keep her mouth from watering.'

Death upgrades to a strimmer

'The grass is always greener on the other side seed'.

Lawn mower - must get longer cable

God builds the first lawn mower.

I'm starting a lawn-mowing service instead of going to camp. Excellent. Can I have a loan to get started? What for? Gas can, tool cart, mower blade, sharpening and insurance in case I cut off my foot or someone's prized peony. Maybe we can afford summer camp. It's a bargain.

Shoot, I forgot about that underground sprinkler.