Lawn Domination Expert Gifts

"You've just got to have the biggest and the best, have'nt you?!"

'Behold. Ed and Jim have finally reached nirvana.'

"First time pruning?"

I want to rip out our lawn and plant a wild meadow. And I want lost of well-mown grass. What do you recommend? Nursery open. Just a sec. I'll check with my dad. No way! Tree's Tree Nursery. I'm not suggesting a marriage counselor!

'Ok..Ok...I'm putting the lawnmower back in the shed!'

A sign on the front lawn of a house reads "Keep off the chemicals".

"The election's over, Trump won, the illegals are being deported and I'm here for one of them there high-paying American jobs he promised."

"Mulch madness"

"Must get a longer cable."

"The gods seem angrier than usual today."

'I fought the lawn and the lawn won.'

"Al emerged from his man cave and saw crabgrass. That means 6 months of obsessing about crabgrass."

'I'm finding the greens a bit slow.'

'George! This way quick!'

'He claims to be a recovering workaholic.'

Beware of the Lawn

'I can't get my husband to water the lawn.'

"Basically, I'm looking for a beer can holder with a mower built around it."

Dispose of unproductive fruit trees.

'Al's Lawn Care Service: There's no crabgrass too crabby for us!'

Robotic man mowing the lawn

'I'm making one of the craters into a birdbath.'

'This veldt makes me worry about the condition of our yard back home.'

'Fred's opinion of crab grass is if you can't beat it, join it.'

'Despite her numerous advanced degrees, Dr.Bessie couldn't keep her mouth from watering.'

Ref shows footballer green card.

'The grass is always greener on the other side seed'.

"Who's a good boy?!!"

Try to extinguish the potting shed...brush wood ash into a neat pile - it will make valuable plant food.

God builds the first lawn mower.

Mower Repair

Shoot, I forgot about that underground sprinkler.

A man imagines he looks like a farmer on a tractor on a ride-on mower and

'This is Ed down the street. Your dog is doing his business on my lawn again.'

With their only child off to college, the Gilmonts each suffered empty-nest syndrome in their own way.