Master Of Gags Pillows

Up your end.

'Surely you wouldn't want me to laugh at your joke if I didn't think it was funny!'

'Who folded the annual report into a paper airplane?'

"What's he going to do now, break wind?"

"We are gathered here to morn the passing of Bob Opossum."

'I didn't tell you to 'be quite Frank'. I said,'be quiet, Frank'!'

"I love a woman with a sense of humour."

'I made them during the blizzard in January. Whad'ya say we go liven up my sister's pool party?'

"... And don't come back until you're ready to get funny."

"...Any more of that fowl language and you're barred!"

Never pick a fight with a comedian.

Custard pie ejects from book - 'How to be a clown'

'She must be good at mixing cement - She's been making rock cakes for years.'

King Pin

(Singing) 'Doctor, what's wrong with me?' 'Staff in-fec-tion.'

Wendel enjoyed magic school but he was having a little trouble in his trickonometry class.

'Always the wise guy.'

"No worries. I'm well-prepped and ready for anything they might throw at me."

No, sir, that entr

"'Ere, mate - you look like a right muppett..!"

Cartoonist Checkups

"He's surprisingly sensitive about heckling."

"Sorry about that. Just following the serving suggestion."

Al, trust me� You're ready for tomorrow's comic strip. I really want to nail my performance, Axel. "Waiter, there's a fly in my soup�waiter, there's a fly in my soup�waiter, there's a fly in my soup�waiter, there's a fly in my soup�waiter�"

"You know, Larry, you really don't have to carry that thing around to tell "knock-knock" jokes."

'His dad was a standup. He's a quip off the old block.'

Comedy course highlights fake nose

Toilet Humour: 'Did you hear about the constipated human?'

'Ok, ok, what about this one? There was an Irishman, an Italian and an Englishman ..'

'Oooh, man! You really has me going with that fake shark fin!!'

'When you discovered your bark was worse than your bite, you decided to see me?'

"You'll like my mate - he's a scream..!"

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Dara O' Briain

"I just think we should eat a lot more ice cream for dessert to battle global warming."