Master Of Exaggeration Pillows

"And that one I tagged with a flamethrower from ten yards."

'Oh, I would say it was at least twice that size, and it had fangs and horns too...'

The Boy who cried 'wolf' became a fisherman: '...but it got away!'

'See? — that's the big one I got away from.'

Fishing Tales

“Sweet mother of Marmaduke... no!”

"Pfff, eating homework is nothing! My mum eats the clothes off the clothes line..."

'What a CV - if you can write memos like this you'll go far in our organisation.'

Alarmistclock

"A simple note from your mother would have sufficed, Tommy."

Early accounting scandals.

"Here's your hourly job performance review."

'...and that's the one that got away!'

I'm ego surfing right now, looking up my name on different search engines.

"Don't worry - you've got to expect a few midge bites on holiday..."

National Hyperbole Society: Inspirational & Outstanding

Up your end.

Wendel enjoyed magic school but he was having a little trouble in his trickonometry class.

'You're an estate agent aren't you?'

'Oooh, man! You really has me going with that fake shark fin!!'

"Come check this out, Doris! I think our mouse trap finally caught a mouse!"

"In your original statement, you said the fish was much bigger."

Fish Story

'I gave him the old one-two, but then he gave me three, four, five, six, seven and eight!'

'When I said in my on-line profile that I was athletic, I meant that I like watching sports!'

"The fish gets bigger every time he tells the story."

"Don't be so dramatic, you've only got a cold!"

“At what point does it stop being just moths, and start being Pestilence?”

"All those close-up magic classes don't seem so 'worthless' on day 190 of quarantine, do they."

'This is what I've been waiting for-a bunch of fishermen telling fish stories.'

"Okay. It's a balloon. Get over it."

'Yes, I did suggest you enlarge that photo of you and your car. However...'

Fishing Stories

"When Dennis gets a cold everyone has to know about it"

'You were featured on Rogue Traders'