Mass Transit T-Shirts

'I used to commute. Now I transform.'

"Mommy, look! He's man-spreading!"

"Legs together, David -- You're hamspreading again."

"I'll be a bit late... sorry."

Planned service changes

"It was rated on all the travel websites. 'Best economy tour'."

'...but there MUST have been something about a rail go-slow on 'News at Ten'?'

"Remember, if we get split up, take the A to 42nd, transfer to the Brooklyn bound 2, get off at Eastern parkway and buy a ticket for the Brooklyn Museum and make sure to tell them you're under three."

"XIVth Street"

"Don't make eye contact... Don't make eye contact..."

Rail travel - the environmental alternative (that sometimes doesn't allow bikes)

When travelling with her cat by plane, train, or bus, dawn always ensured no one would bother them.

I'm a gangster rap fan too!

Doubledecker bus stop

HS2

"Does the No. 1 stop here and does that go to Penn Station and can I get a train there to Philadelphia and then how do I get to Walnut Street?"

"About time they did something about the rats!"

'We don't keep cash on the premises.'

"This is one of those subway stations they've restored to their original state."

Bus for Giraffes.

"A lonely desperate soul, Napoleon fixed his immutable gaze on the Russian landscape which mirrored that of his soul … swirling, frozen, unforgiv … ah ha!! His bus was coming!!"

"Don't make eye-contact, don't make eye-contact..."

Eric Adams Caricature

'Arrivals and Departures - this railroad governed by Heisenberg's uncertainty principle'

Bus Stop

"Please mind the gap between the train timetable and reality."

Nun reading 'Halo' magazine

We're barely gonna make it!

'Back in 1956 you were the youngest Briton to cover the Hungarian uprising. You are presently writing your memoirs in Sardinia. First question: how do you feel about the sorry state the London Underground is in?'

"I gave on the E train."

"If you look at Lexington Avenue, it is anyone's guess what's happening on the 6 train. Moving on to Broadway, I can tell you that the N and R Lines may or may not be running smoothly, while the Eighth Avenue A and C are, as always, a complete mystery."