Mass Transit Analyst T-Shirts

'I am traveling by train in futureI hate Cliches.'

"And exactly how is the peanut-butter-and-jelly prepared?"

"Steak, Richard, is just grown up veal."

"This is one of those subway stations they've restored to their original state."

'Which are the most popular and least popular items, and which have been on the menu the longest and shortest times?'

'The London drive-thru experience.'

'Now we have the chief executive of Wigwam rail, how can you justify the enormous fair increases.'

Buddha Statue: Buy Low, Sell High, Stay Diversified.

Great Urban Sprawl

Man sees line of priests entering Mass Transit Authority.

"There's a red light at the end of the tunnel."

'There is a $15 baggage fee... a $15 airport improvement fee... a $15 full body scan fee... a $15 pat-down fee...'

"It's time to put up rail fares again. . . What are we thinking?"

"So it's agreed then. There'll be no third runway, and you'll head the Fourth Runway steering group."

"Is the hamburger innovative?"

"Suddenly, trying to figure out who to blame for our crumbling infrastructure seems pointless..."

Realistic Timetable

Subway Chanteys

'I guess it's an improvement over the previous 'do-nothing' policy.'

'It's an app that tells me when metro will get its act together.'

'He just comes in to laugh at our menu.'

Price and serving size: A guide.

"If you want extra virgin oil on the salad that's a £5 supplement...."

Traffic Everywhere

"Maybe we're taking the wrong approach to traffic data gathering..."

A subway train waits with people at the tracks.

The Government car-share scheme gains wide support!

"It all started when we adopted a highway."