Mash Potato Enthusiast Pillows

Weapon of mash destruction.

'The following program is intended for beer bellied, sports crazed, couch potatoes!'

"It's an update from the people tracking us. According to this, we haven't gone anywhere or done anything."

"Honey, do these sweatpants make me look like I prefer we stay in tonight so I can watch the game?"

'But Mom, I like potatoes in their jackets.'

American Idle.

"I swapped my 'couch to 5k' training app for a '5k to couch' one!"

'I met him on a Monday and my heart stood still (would you believe?)')

'Red Rover, Red Rover...'

Gramma's Tators & Gravy...All You Can Eat!

'Have you seen me?' (Brain missing in TV viewer)

"Can you turn these mashed potatoes into french fries?"

"He refuses to talk and he never listens."

Unconditional Loveseat

Homo Zapiens

'Where does the teacher get this? Wilbur shows no motivation in class!'

Stupid Microwave

"When Ed suggested 5 potato, 6 potato, 7 potato more, I suggested a vasectomy."

"The chef ran out of the shiitake-infused sweet potato au gratin, so he substituted hash browns."

Couch Potatoes

'Whatever, crosswords are stupid.'

'Well, the marriage guidance counsellor advised us to share each others interests, didn't she?'

'My husband likes to have everything handy during TV commercials.'

"We're actually going to grow potatoes on Mars!"

"I'm SO lazy, I married a pregnant woman. . . !"

'I'm not lazy - just resting before I get tired...'

"This lockdown is GREAT! - We can spend all day on our computers, eating takeaway junk food and watching crap TV while gambling on our iphones!"

"I've decided to uninstall your personality and upload mine."

"In da house"

"I just explained 'kugel' to him."

Working from Home.

"Let's see what's going on in the world."

"Mom wants us to spend 'Quality time' together, so don't blame me."

"Lately, I've become more spiritual, and less religious."

"Hang on, I'll get him for you."