Mashed Potato Enthusiast Pillows

Mash-Test Dummies.

Uncle Ned passed on mashed potatoes only once in his life.

'The following program is intended for beer bellied, sports crazed, couch potatoes!'

"It's an update from the people tracking us. According to this, we haven't gone anywhere or done anything."

"Honey, do these sweatpants make me look like I prefer we stay in tonight so I can watch the game?"

'But Mom, I like potatoes in their jackets.'

"I swapped my 'couch to 5k' training app for a '5k to couch' one!"

Gramma's Tators & Gravy...All You Can Eat!

'Have you seen me?' (Brain missing in TV viewer)

"Can you turn these mashed potatoes into french fries?"

Homo Zapiens

"He refuses to talk and he never listens."

Unconditional Loveseat

'Where does the teacher get this? Wilbur shows no motivation in class!'

Stupid Microwave

"When Ed suggested 5 potato, 6 potato, 7 potato more, I suggested a vasectomy."

"The chef ran out of the shiitake-infused sweet potato au gratin, so he substituted hash browns."

Couch Potatoes

'Whatever, crosswords are stupid.'

'My husband likes to have everything handy during TV commercials.'

"I'm SO lazy, I married a pregnant woman. . . !"

'Well, the marriage guidance counsellor advised us to share each others interests, didn't she?'

"In da house"

"I've decided to uninstall your personality and upload mine."

'I'm not lazy - just resting before I get tired...'

"I just explained 'kugel' to him."

"We're actually going to grow potatoes on Mars!"

Working from Home.

"Let's see what's going on in the world."

"Mom wants us to spend 'Quality time' together, so don't blame me."

"Sometimes I wonder if it was worth all the trouble you went through to get yourself cloned."

Pets are not only good companions, they're good excuses.

I knew from the starch we were a perfect mash.

"Well, sometimes we take the dogs for a walk...which puts our fitness level at approximately that of an 80-year-old couple."