Masculinity Analyst T-Shirts

"You've been charged with driving under the influence of testosterone."

"O.K. boys, this is where we find out if we're REAL men!"

"That's an interesting question, Clint. I don't know if my gun rack is an authentic regionalism or just a macho affectation."

"...And my Dad never gave me his approval. Which is why I try so had to be a perfect male specimen."

Crocodile Tie

"If you could change just one thing about yourself, what would it be?" "I’d totally wish to have my brain put into a robot body." "That way I could live forever. Imagine living long enough to buy an iPhone 7000." "Wrong answer. An alpha male never lets on that he’s concerned about his mortality. Your answer should have been 'nothing.'" "The alpha male or female is not afraid of death, little buddy." "I think I’d rather wait for the 7000–S." "Stop it."

Gas: Regular/Hi-Test/Testosterone

The Male Atom: Sex, Sport, War and Good Intentions.

"I'll give you my unconditional love - on one condition."

"I used to know my wife's fondest dreams and desires, but now I leave that to Google."

“I don’t mind doing the dishes every night—it gives me time to deepen my resentment.”

"In our little socioeconomic group, I've always taken care of the socio and John's done the economic."

(Phil Hanson and the Philettes)

"Good game.". . ."Good game.". . . "Nice game.". . . "Good game.". . . "I'm in love with you.". . . "Good game."

"Sipsies?"

"There's no way God ever intended man to shove a pillow into a pillowcase!"

'Women, can't live with 'em, can't live without em.'

"He must be very secure in his masculinity."

"You're holding a lot of homophobia in your lower back."

"Which one more says 'Cool Guy?'"

"Back from hunting with nothing again?"

'Are they street legal, and do you have some insecurity thing going on?'

"Hitting me on the head with your club and dragging me by my hair back to the cave is not my idea of seduction."

"Dear, do you think you may have become too comfortable with your masculinity?"

'I couldn't put it down.'

'Ms. Parker, who undercooked these numbers?'

'Sometimes I feel like I don't even know you anymore, George... Or is it, Dave?'

'We are incompatible. I'm a woman, he's a sexist pig.'

"Men have intuition, too -- they just have to learn to distrust it."

"Studly"?

"Is there any insanity in the family?"

"Real men don't shave, but, if you have to, don't be dainty about it."

Macho fishing.

"Let's do it, let's fall in love."

"Over all, I liked it, but I have a couple of notes."