Martini Sipper Gifts

A Transformer for grownups

Bryan Ferry

'Put an olive in it please. My doctor says I need more greens and less alchohol.'

'Excuse me, coming through.'

"Think of it as twenty one in human years. I'll take a bourbon and toilet water."

Guy at drink stand says to Medium: 'Medium?'

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

Sparkling Water

"Moments like this make me glad I taught you how to fetch mojitos."

"Bad morning. I was running late and skipped my coffee, diet soda, energy drink and Ritalin."

'I swear, if he didn't always pick up the tab, I'd never go drinking with him.'

"Our fresh seasonal hand-crafted brews contain a full serving of spring vegetables."

The last song before the party exploded.

"...Stop complaining if it wasn't for the mosquitoes you wouldn't get any exercise at all!"

"Whine and cheezed party."

Cocktail glasses swimming in the sea.

Beach flirting

Vending machines with junk food: 'Zing!', 'Zoom!' and 'Crash!'

"Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall, fell, and retained a brilliant attorney."

'You know what would be really romantic? If, just for once, you sat at the tap end.'

"I'm a retriever but I prefer 'Go-Getter'."

Complaints Desk

'Just wait until I'm introduced to carbonated beverages!'

Anton's Bar and Grill

No boyfriend, can't be bothered t-shirt

"Look! I can almost spot the bar I should be in right now!"

'I told her my biological clock was going off, and she hit my snooze alarm.'

A very fine vintage

'Gee, mom, you know I want to visit - I'm just so darned busy.'

"Our seasonal special is spiced pumpkin apple butternut squash ale. Would you like that in a frosted mug or over ice cream?"

"Detox is two doors back, bro' - this is retox!"

"Have you consider the possibility that I don't want the paper?"

'Shaken, not stirred.'

"I love blue Martinis. It's like the fifties and the nineties all mixed up together."

'Come to order' 'I'll have a burger, hold the mayo, and a large cola.'