Martini Sipper Gifts

A Transformer for grownups

Bryan Ferry

'Put an olive in it please. My doctor says I need more greens and less alchohol.'

'Excuse me, coming through.'

"Think of it as twenty one in human years. I'll take a bourbon and toilet water."

Guy at drink stand says to Medium: 'Medium?'

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

Sparkling Water

"Moments like this make me glad I taught you how to fetch mojitos."

"Bad morning. I was running late and skipped my coffee, diet soda, energy drink and Ritalin."

"Our fresh seasonal hand-crafted brews contain a full serving of spring vegetables."

'I swear, if he didn't always pick up the tab, I'd never go drinking with him.'

"...Stop complaining if it wasn't for the mosquitoes you wouldn't get any exercise at all!"

The last song before the party exploded.

Beach flirting

"Whine and cheezed party."

Vending machines with junk food: 'Zing!', 'Zoom!' and 'Crash!'

Cocktail glasses swimming in the sea.

"Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall, fell, and retained a brilliant attorney."

'You know what would be really romantic? If, just for once, you sat at the tap end.'

"I'm a retriever but I prefer 'Go-Getter'."

'Just wait until I'm introduced to carbonated beverages!'

Complaints Desk

"Look! I can almost spot the bar I should be in right now!"

A very fine vintage

'I told her my biological clock was going off, and she hit my snooze alarm.'

'Gee, mom, you know I want to visit - I'm just so darned busy.'

No boyfriend, can't be bothered t-shirt

"Our seasonal special is spiced pumpkin apple butternut squash ale. Would you like that in a frosted mug or over ice cream?"

"Detox is two doors back, bro' - this is retox!"

Anton's Bar and Grill

"Have you consider the possibility that I don't want the paper?"

'Shaken, not stirred.'

'Come to order' 'I'll have a burger, hold the mayo, and a large cola.'

'Will you stop yelling save the whales and finish you pina colada?'