Martini Maven T-Shirts

From The Museum Of Modern Art's Collection Of American Mixology......The Mies Martini

"Great coffee, honey!"

"The crime scene down the hall has crap vermouth."

Food Pyramid, 1960

"Method works, dear, but madness takes all."

"Two burgers, two fries, two martinis—and we'll have those to go."

"Everything has been done to death."

"In these troubled times, I still find the strength to persevere."

"I'm submitting into evidence exhibit 3, a receipt proving that the defendant did in fact spend $1,500 on espresso martinis in one weekend."

'It's times like this when I ask myself, what would Oprah do?'

"Soup of the Day."

Moon Martini

'Well if I'm so 'bloody useless' perhaps you'd better read the map!'

I'm freshwater. Make it a margarita without salt.

"Was that my pager or yours?"

Ski lift mobile

Enterpe, Terpsichore, Calliope, and Bernie, their agent.

Cocktail glasses swimming in the sea.

Nature Lovers

"In my next album 'Gettin' Back', I refute all the strong beliefs expressed in 'Gettin' There', my previous album."

Hooray for Bollywood!

"Is Madonna amazing or what? She sings, dances, and acts, and now it turns out she's a writer, too."

"This is off our first TikTok."

"We think we got some good CT scans, but unfortunately they're encrypted and our I.T. guy is on vacation this week."

So Far So Good

The Quack Quack Diaries: Quack Quack Writes A Top Ten Hit

'Ok, who's been playing rap music in front of the bird?!'

Nick Cave

"It's a cross between pop and rap. We call it 'pap.'"

'U.S. Manufacturing'

Leonard Cohen

Echo Mountain...NO Yodeling! - Falling rock zone.

'Knock it off, Gus! This is tough enough without your yodeling!'

'It seems with every year my hot flashes get worse.'

Ginspiration!