Martian Messenger Gifts

Michael Jackson - Mission fulfilled.

Ruddy bloggers!

'Are you sure You can be objective? -After all, You did CREATE them.'

"Would you like to leave a message? He's on the throne"

"Even if I did believe that he was communicating through you. I'm afraid it's too late to change the will now."

'When you pray, does God have call waiting?'

'No, this is area 50...Area 51 is over that way...'

Hermes, Process Server Of The Gods

". . . And how long have you felt alienated?"

"Cultural economy - keep it going."

Curiosity has landed on Mars.

"Hear me, for the Lord has given me an exclusive."

"I can take you to my yoga instructor, how about that...?"

'We came here because our planet ran out of fossil fuel.'

Psychic TV Guru & Cellular Phone Commercial Spin.

"Don't worry, I'll make sure she sees it"

"Before we make contact with the departed, be aware that all communications will be recorded and maybe used for training purposes."

'...George isn't in right now, but you can email him at...'

Saint Patrick sending snakes out of Ireland.

Seance: That line is currently busy...would you care to keep holding?

'A bathroom!!'

"A message from your terrible foe in the holy lands - she's pregnant!"

"Keep your shirt on. I'll read your book as soon as I'm done reading the monster his book."

"A messenger from the West Side, Your Highness."

"It's your dear departed wife. She's located your tonsils and appendix."

Letter to God

"All of my manifestations are currently busy however your prayer is important to me so please..."

'This is goodbye, Goopta -- I've decided to make a career move to the Scientologists.'

"He apologizes for not contacting us during the previous session. The wi-fi was off in the hereafter."

"It used to just be flowers but now I also do subpoenas."

"Remember how I said I was happiest when we had nothing?"

'Please... take... a... moment... to... complete... our... brief... survey... to... help... improve... customer... satisfaction... '

'Does anyone have a zanglethribber?'

Boxers disturbing the occupier of the room below

"I wish the king didn't send a raven for every random thought that enters his head."