Martian Messenger Pillows

Ruddy bloggers!

'Are you sure You can be objective? -After all, You did CREATE them.'

"Would you like to leave a message? He's on the throne"

"Even if I did believe that he was communicating through you. I'm afraid it's too late to change the will now."

'When you pray, does God have call waiting?'

'No, this is area 50...Area 51 is over that way...'

Hermes, Process Server Of The Gods

Curiosity has landed on Mars.

". . . And how long have you felt alienated?"

"Cultural economy - keep it going."

"Hear me, for the Lord has given me an exclusive."

"I can take you to my yoga instructor, how about that...?"

'We came here because our planet ran out of fossil fuel.'

Psychic TV Guru & Cellular Phone Commercial Spin.

"Before we make contact with the departed, be aware that all communications will be recorded and maybe used for training purposes."

Saint Patrick sending snakes out of Ireland.

Seance: That line is currently busy...would you care to keep holding?

'...George isn't in right now, but you can email him at...'

"Don't worry, I'll make sure she sees it"

"A messenger from the West Side, Your Highness."

'A bathroom!!'

"A message from your terrible foe in the holy lands - she's pregnant!"

'This is goodbye, Goopta -- I've decided to make a career move to the Scientologists.'

"It used to just be flowers but now I also do subpoenas."

"He apologizes for not contacting us during the previous session. The wi-fi was off in the hereafter."

"All of my manifestations are currently busy however your prayer is important to me so please..."

Letter to God

"It's your dear departed wife. She's located your tonsils and appendix."

"Remember how I said I was happiest when we had nothing?"

'Please... take... a... moment... to... complete... our... brief... survey... to... help... improve... customer... satisfaction... '

'Does anyone have a zanglethribber?'

Boxers disturbing the occupier of the room below

I'm away from my desk, please leave a message after my interpretation of a beep.

"I wish the king didn't send a raven for every random thought that enters his head."