Mystical Messenger Pillows

"Hear me, for the Lord has given me an exclusive."

'...George isn't in right now, but you can email him at...'

'Are you sure You can be objective? -After all, You did CREATE them.'

'I'm sorry, Madam Zola. I'm afraid you no longer have second sight.'

"Even if I did believe that he was communicating through you. I'm afraid it's too late to change the will now."

"Joyce! The poltergeist are having another dinner party!"

'Insofar as all parties have agreed to mediation, I've taken the liberty of hiring a medium.'

Hermes, Process Server Of The Gods

'Oh wise one - what is the secret to long life?'

Palm Reader...

Your Palm

'He's not there at the moment so please leave a message.'

"Well, well – if it isn't the old crystal ball and chain."

"Remember the night in the Tetons when we smoked so much weed we thought we were hallucinating?"

Shakespearean Actor

'I may charge a lot but you get much more through me. I'm a psychic large.'

"Now...this piece of paper will reveal even more."

"I'll be right back."

'Uh, are you sure you can handle enlightenment?'

Psychic TV Guru & Cellular Phone Commercial Spin.

Saint Patrick sending snakes out of Ireland.

"... And I think you should apologise to that palm reader for scoffing at her predictions."

Seance: That line is currently busy...would you care to keep holding?

Rum Mage Sale Today

"Before we make contact with the departed, be aware that all communications will be recorded and maybe used for training purposes."

'Should I buy or sell?'

Vending Machine: Epiphanies... Now in six yummy varieties!

"You will be going on a long journey..."

'I keep getting his answering machine.'

"This, of course, is a medium strength medication."

Meaning of Life $5.00

"He apologizes for not contacting us during the previous session. The wi-fi was off in the hereafter."

'You'll be having extensive dental surgery...'

'This is goodbye, Goopta -- I've decided to make a career move to the Scientologists.'

'He's bringing glad-to-be-gay tidings.'