Marshmallow Roasters Gifts

'Aren't these marshmallows just going to make us plumper for when the bears ultimately eat us?'

"...and what really makes this story scary is the kittens got lost in the woods before flea and tick products were invented."

Marshmallows

Harsh Mellows.

Peter Pan, the Utensil that Never Grew Up

"Dad! Dad! It's freezing out here! I wish we had a fireplace to get all cozy and roast marshmallows!"

"It was a dark and stormy night, for the Wi-Fi was down."

"My calculations are complete. We could toast 12,000 marshmallows every day for every person on earth for 36,000 years with one solar flare."

'The Torch Holder'.

"I don't know, maybe I'm just being mallowdramatic."

'Marshmallows ready! Now for the roasting...'

'Your father's a genius kids. First he discovered fire and now marshmallows.'

The lesser known active volcanoes.

"Really? You mean you’ve never smoked a joint?"

The Burning Bush: How God convinced Moses to Lead His people a.k.a. the origin of s'mores.

Trash-talkin' artists

1% Cereal: Now with marshmallow dollar signs.

"He must be a pro. He's got his own stick."

Marshmallow Roast

Emergency box in woods contains supplies for a campfire.

"First beach?"

"I can do this all day, marshmallow. I have a bright life ahead of me. You, on the other hand... I'm not so sure."

Scary Marshmallow Campfire Stories.

"We're nearing The Sun, we're about to get out the marshmellows."

The Sacrificial Peep

'Get the kind with the little marshmallows.'

"Have I ever told you how sexy you look when you overcook the salmon?"

"Not the Verity Brewster? The Verity Brewster who invented sweet-potato casserole with marshmallows on top?"

Zombie scout issues

"Fortunately for Moses, he always carried a bag of marshmallows."

"We don't need airbags, I filled the car with marshmallows."

'Okay, the marshmallows will be frozen in a minute!' - 'Man, I really love Bar-B-Q's!'

Melting snowman roasting marshmallow on open fire.

Dragon toasts marshmallows