Marshmallow Roasting Gifts

There was a good reason Geppetto invited Pinocchio on his camping trips.

"...and what really makes this story scary is the kittens got lost in the woods before flea and tick products were invented."

Marshmallows

Harsh Mellows.

Peter Pan, the Utensil that Never Grew Up

"Dad! Dad! It's freezing out here! I wish we had a fireplace to get all cozy and roast marshmallows!"

"It was a dark and stormy night, for the Wi-Fi was down."

"My calculations are complete. We could toast 12,000 marshmallows every day for every person on earth for 36,000 years with one solar flare."

'The Torch Holder'.

'Aren't these marshmallows just going to make us plumper for when the bears ultimately eat us?'

"I don't know, maybe I'm just being mallowdramatic."

'Marshmallows ready! Now for the roasting...'

'Your father's a genius kids. First he discovered fire and now marshmallows.'

'Our guest tonight certainly needs no introduction.'

The lesser known active volcanoes.

'You can't have a drumstick because this is roast beef.'

"Really? You mean you’ve never smoked a joint?"

The Burning Bush: How God convinced Moses to Lead His people a.k.a. the origin of s'mores.

The First Roast Chicken.

1% Cereal: Now with marshmallow dollar signs.

"Don't worry...the national immigrant work stoppage does not include our kitchen."

"He must be a pro. He's got his own stick."

'This year, I thought I'd try a self-basting turkey!'

Emergency box in woods contains supplies for a campfire.

Marshmallow Roast

"First beach?"

Scary Marshmallow Campfire Stories.

"I can do this all day, marshmallow. I have a bright life ahead of me. You, on the other hand... I'm not so sure."

The Sacrificial Peep

'Get the kind with the little marshmallows.'

"Have I ever told you how sexy you look when you overcook the salmon?"

"Not the Verity Brewster? The Verity Brewster who invented sweet-potato casserole with marshmallows on top?"

Zombie scout issues

"We're nearing The Sun, we're about to get out the marshmellows."