Marshmallow Roasting Gifts

There was a good reason Geppetto invited Pinocchio on his camping trips.

Take seat. Nothing makes me happier than keeping people warm and cooking s'mores for them. Friendly fire.

"...and what really makes this story scary is the kittens got lost in the woods before flea and tick products were invented."

Marshmallows

Harsh Mellows.

Peter Pan, the Utensil that Never Grew Up

"Dad! Dad! It's freezing out here! I wish we had a fireplace to get all cozy and roast marshmallows!"

"It was a dark and stormy night, for the Wi-Fi was down."

"My calculations are complete. We could toast 12,000 marshmallows every day for every person on earth for 36,000 years with one solar flare."

'The Torch Holder'.

A marshmallow? Oh, no, thank you, I'm good.

'Aren't these marshmallows just going to make us plumper for when the bears ultimately eat us?'

'Marshmallows ready! Now for the roasting...'

"I don't know, maybe I'm just being mallowdramatic."

'Your father's a genius kids. First he discovered fire and now marshmallows.'

'Our guest tonight certainly needs no introduction.'

'You can't have a drumstick because this is roast beef.'

The lesser known active volcanoes.

"Really? You mean you’ve never smoked a joint?"

The Burning Bush: How God convinced Moses to Lead His people a.k.a. the origin of s'mores.

"He must be a pro. He's got his own stick."

The First Roast Chicken.

1% Cereal: Now with marshmallow dollar signs.

"Don't worry...the national immigrant work stoppage does not include our kitchen."

'This year, I thought I'd try a self-basting turkey!'

Emergency box in woods contains supplies for a campfire.

Marshmallow Roast

"First beach?"

"I can do this all day, marshmallow. I have a bright life ahead of me. You, on the other hand... I'm not so sure."

Scary Marshmallow Campfire Stories.

"I think you have to leave it in for ten minutes per pound."

"We're nearing The Sun, we're about to get out the marshmellows."

The Sacrificial Peep

"Not the Verity Brewster? The Verity Brewster who invented sweet-potato casserole with marshmallows on top?"

"Have I ever told you how sexy you look when you overcook the salmon?"