Roasting Marshmallows Gifts

A crematorium worker has been caught out toasting Marshmallows.

Take seat. Nothing makes me happier than keeping people warm and cooking s'mores for them. Friendly fire.

"...and what really makes this story scary is the kittens got lost in the woods before flea and tick products were invented."

Marshmallows

Harsh Mellows.

Peter Pan, the Utensil that Never Grew Up

"Dad! Dad! It's freezing out here! I wish we had a fireplace to get all cozy and roast marshmallows!"

"It was a dark and stormy night, for the Wi-Fi was down."

"My calculations are complete. We could toast 12,000 marshmallows every day for every person on earth for 36,000 years with one solar flare."

'The Torch Holder'.

A marshmallow? Oh, no, thank you, I'm good.

"I don't know, maybe I'm just being mallowdramatic."

"That sister of yours sure has some nerve asking for those leftovers - we earned them."

'Aren't these marshmallows just going to make us plumper for when the bears ultimately eat us?'

'Marshmallows ready! Now for the roasting...'

'Your father's a genius kids. First he discovered fire and now marshmallows.'

"Really? You mean you’ve never smoked a joint?"

The lesser known active volcanoes.

The Burning Bush: How God convinced Moses to Lead His people a.k.a. the origin of s'mores.

1% Cereal: Now with marshmallow dollar signs.

"He must be a pro. He's got his own stick."

Emergency box in woods contains supplies for a campfire.

Marshmallow Roast

"First beach?"

"I can do this all day, marshmallow. I have a bright life ahead of me. You, on the other hand... I'm not so sure."

Scary Marshmallow Campfire Stories.

"Not the Verity Brewster? The Verity Brewster who invented sweet-potato casserole with marshmallows on top?"

'Get the kind with the little marshmallows.'

"We're nearing The Sun, we're about to get out the marshmellows."

Zombie scout issues

The Sacrificial Peep

'Thaw for 24 hours. They should have told me that yesterday.'

"Fortunately for Moses, he always carried a bag of marshmallows."

"We don't need airbags, I filled the car with marshmallows."

'Pre-washed and pre-cooked I'm okay with but lovingly chewed by devoted carers.....'