Marriage Mischief Lover Pillows

Hey, wait a sec … Forget it! If you think I'm letting you off the hook for forgetting our anniversary, think again! Didn't you also accuse me of forgetting it just a couple of months ago? What date were we hitched? Don't change the subject.

"Can I have another sausage Dad?"

"I think the ants are mooning me again."

"Who told the quartet to play 'Highway to Hell'?"

You got what you deserve … you deserve each other.

Dog Obedience School: 'I think we're going to have our work cut out with this one.'

Playing pig

"Which one's yours?"

'Get up or I'm sending in the cat.'

A man at a cocktail party wears a nametag that reads "Trouble".

"That was definitely mine."

A child and his dog

The Tooth Ferret

Faust

'Casey laughed so hard at lunch milk came out his nose...or as we say now... he had a liquid food malfunction.'

'The king wants a gesture, not a jester.'

Cat scratches dog's car.

'Now don't forget, polar bears can be sneaky buggers.'

"Whoa! Hey, can we do that?"

Boy accidentally hits a man with a snowball

Halloween health & safety.

"I'm in here...reallocating Dad's retirement account into junk bonds."

"Come on, man, think! There's got to be some new, super-annoying way to bother her for food—I know it!"

Don't let your your evil twin be your wingman when trying to pick up a woman in a bar.

'Mum said I take after your side of the family, Dad!'

Bridegroom jumps in the hands of his bride after seeing a mouse

A monk finds a little demon in the spine of his holy bible.

'Is it true a Maitre D' has the authority to marry people, just like the captain of a ship?'

"Tonight's top stories—chaos, pandemonium, mayhem, and the latest shenanigans of ____."

Pigeon Master

"I never lie to my parents, but sometimes we do interpret event differently."

"Yes, my automatic starter has the technology to start your car as well. I'll show you. Honey! Go start her car!"

'Admit it, Mabel - you've been keeping these non-iron shirts a secret in order to save our marriage, haven't you?'

Naughty Child

"My husband's lost some interest...can you tattoo me into a giant remote control?"