Marital Mischief Enthusiast Pillows

"My husband's lost some interest...can you tattoo me into a giant remote control?"

'They have TWO trees!'

"Who told the quartet to play 'Highway to Hell'?"

'Wait a minute - How do we break a tie?'

You got what you deserve … you deserve each other.

'Looks like the Wentworths are still on the outs.'

"Yes, I've made three resolutions - not to drink less, not to stop watching football on telly and not to spend more time at your mother's."

'My wife likes it when I help out in the kitchen.'

"What do you mean I never take you anywhere? We're here, aren't we?"

"No heroic measures."

"I know it's 3 a.m. but don't you think this is a good time to discuss spending the holidays with my mother."

'You were nagging your husband all over the road. I'll need to see your marriage license.'

"You never tell me you love me." "I told ya' once. I'll let you know if anything changes."

"Would it kill you to help around the house for once?!"

'you should know my wife thinks I'm stupid.'

"Is that your answer for everything...fold in a stick of butter?"

'He's probably charming the pants off your receptionist'

'Is it true a Maitre D' has the authority to marry people, just like the captain of a ship?'

"Now, if something happens to your marriage, do you want do-not resuscitate?"

Bridegroom jumps in the hands of his bride after seeing a mouse

"'Till death do you part?"

"I'm so sorry, I never meant for you to find out this way."

"Yes, my automatic starter has the technology to start your car as well. I'll show you. Honey! Go start her car!"

"Honey, I'm home."

'My wife and I have single beds, mine in London and hers in Lincoln.'

'When did your role as husband become mainly ceremonial?'

'Surprised she's getting married again. In lieu of wedding gifts, she's asking for donations to help retain a divorce lawyer.'

'Admit it, Mabel - you've been keeping these non-iron shirts a secret in order to save our marriage, haven't you?'

"It's the wife - I can't even fight a war in bloody peace!"

"My wife says I never listen to her ... or something like that."

Bride with a lasso.

"Harry! You?"

"Did you say something?" "That was last night!"